Marry me, Leslie

Some guy proposes to his girlfriend using Google's Street View in what may go down as the single geekiest wedding proposal in history. Eh, this one actually comes in at a pretty close second.

thavi says

Dugg just because the last time I saw this stunt, the guy got turned down

Cargo8 replies

Dugg just because I was the last guy to try this stunt.

ProfessorSYM says

Dugg for the lady trying to steal the attention with the "Hi mom" sign.

Or maybe that was Leslie's daughter.

CColtManM replies

I hope she can do this!

rjhomuth says

Next up: Marry me Shawn Johnson!

floridiot2 replies

.. Shes 16..... niiiiiice.

Lockhart replies

She's actually not that hot... I've google'd her.

stuffradio replies

Alicia Sacramone ftw

theysayjump says

I'll marry you if she doesn't.

dengzhi replies

cuz he has google stock options?

theysayjump replies

No, because I can see his schlong tucked into his sock.

Reddit admins investigate top user qgyh2

Social news site Reddit has posted on their blog comparing the uber user qgyh2's submission patterns to other real-world phenomena, like the price of gold and the price of Fannie Mae's stock. Shocking results, truly shocking.

qgyh2 says

aww

silence7 says

The only surprise is that qgyh2 didn't post this story.

Snoron replies

It's okay, he'll post it tomorrow and every 6 hours thereafter until it hits the front page! ;)

assram says

You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

pandemic replies

"assram" would be an awesome villain name.

Surfing cat

And here I thought cats hated water.

absnthe says

I'd love to stroke that wet pussy...

duskglow says

I hope that chick in the back in the last picture is legal or I feel a little creepy right now..

jorgeka replies

Ah, good. I wasn't the only one to notice her first.

Pharaonic says

Great idea for picking up chicks, but I wonder how many cats he goes through per week.

Target practice

"Dude, you better be good."

Llanowar asks

Nomination for worst job ever?

a1cd says

Jeez... at least close your legs...

diggenerate says

I love picking on the new guy.

stradf says

Older than the last time I had sex.

edwartica replies

So, older than never?

Even David Beckham isn't safe

It's okay, Beckham. We understand.

b00ks quotes

"show me the most gorgeous woman in the world, and I'll show you a guy who's sick of fucking her."- unknown.

jetmark says

His timing was off. 1-Mississippi, 2-Mississippi, look away...

duskglow says

I do love the look on his face in the last pic though. Like... "caught... oh well."

Mr_Smartypants replies

"Oh, well. I'm still David Beckham!"

OSStourist asks

So... he changed his clothes at halftime?

DarthMalcontent replies

And he shaved.

inmatarian replies

And that white girl suddenly became Asian. She should have that checked out by a doctor, I hear that can be serious.

A New Yorker's map of the United States

Guidos? I thought New Jersey was just "that smelly state."

NeoNevermore asks

What's wrong with the map? It looks accurate.

teriyakisauce asks

Wonder what they think of us Canadians...Igloo living ice fishers?

HoneyHamilton replies

They don't think about Canada.

danieeeell says

and what are u saying?
you guys do the same about the rest of the world.

my country (brazil) for americans is just a country fully of bananas, soccer and black girls dancing.

Icetype replies

That sounds great! Sign me up.

Bull fights back

Go git 'em!

JacKrac says

Seems like those two ladies are enjoying the impending doom a little too much...

daylight replies

She laughs in the face of death!

KlassyGuy says

I like the guy on the left.

18 drinking apps to get the iPhone party started

I don't know about you, but some of this shit would get me made fun of if I were caught using it at a party. Keeping track of drinks? Bartender tip calculator? Weak. The drink recipes is kind of cool, but let me know when you can blow into the mic and get a BAC reading.

Niallgriff says

I dunno, personally, I like to be as far away from phones while drunk as possible.....

theremixtrack agrees

Its like 11am and i am still drunk from lsat night and this fucking article keeps moving around my screen, taunting me...
There needs to be a non drunk text thingy. I sent 26 texts last night. 19 to my brother 4 to my bestfriend 2 to another friend and 1 to someone in my phone named doug boii.

wtf.

david76 says

Really? We need an app to let us know how much to tip a bartender?

Here's a simple answer, $1 per drink. Done.

A deal at KFC on wings

Wait a minute. Something is wrong. Maybe it's a trap.

edwinj85 says

Be wary quiet, I'm robbing stupid people.

nullibicity asks

Wait, you're expected to do math in public?

burtonmkz says

Once I was buying some socks for $5.99. The cashier, being honestly helpful, pointed out that the store was having a sale of two for $12.99. I asked him why I would pay a dollar more to buy two, and why is that a deal?
He looked at the prices thoughtfully for a moment, then said "Huh." (as in an illuminating "WTF?"). He hadn't noticed it himself and had been selling them all day like that. Nobody else had noticed.

drewledoom replies

i had a similar incident with my dealer, his excuse though was that he was just super high

11-year-old's organic veggie stand shut down by Calif. mayor

Coming in at reason No. 2 for kids to hate the world is this story about an 11-year-old girl running an organic vegetable stand that has been shut down by the mayor. Looks like you didn't get the proper permits, little missy.

DiggItalia says

Kids, veggies are evil and tastes bad. I ordered to shut down your stand for your own good. eat meat.
Ronald McDonald.

RoboCafaz has an idea about what those kids were really doing

It was a front for a child sex-slave trafficking company.

Vidalsassgirlie asks

Watcha sellin'? Meth, ex, crack, dust, coke, block, crystal? IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD? I DONT THINK SO!

6-year-old stares down bottomless abyss of formal schooling

Here's a huge downer for those getting ready for back to school: it's all worthless. The Reddit submitter described this write-up as the most depressing Onion story ever.

eaturbrainz says

Dear MorningRooster,
You have utterly depressed me. I despise you. I am coming to consume your brains.
Abject hatred, eaturbrainz

zombiewat replies

lol wanna ride bikes

eaturbrainz replies

Yes.

mjm01010101 says

This isn't accurate.
It gets iffy at Middle School. I have no fucking clue what we're going to do with our kids when Middle school hits.

UK Amazon's PS3 price cut

What an incredible savings! Time to buy a Playstation 3.

chazuk says

Fuck! I knew I should have waited...... :(

ispeakasian says

YES! Now I can finally afford one! Oh shit there goes my ramen budget.

smigbob says

Phew. Now I can afford to drive an extra 6 inches! Thanks Amazon!

mileyrock says

Hey that's like $10 USD with current rates

John McCain unsure how many houses he owns

Come on, John. What are you doing to yourself? Just take a bloody guess. Three? Six? A baker's dozen? You're making yourself look like a senile aristocrat.

trillions says

"Now...where did i leave that house? Oh, in my HUGE wallet!"

onyxcoltrane asks

What's the big deal? I don't know how many pairs of socks I own. Oh, wait a second......

P1um says

The life of a straight-up G. What did you expect?

ctlr says

Some 20-something staffer just got a new assignment: "quick, find out how many houses the boss owns!"

1,000-pound woman, accused of murder, too fat to leave house

The half-ton Texas woman, who was indicted in slaying of her 2-year-old nephew, is literally too fat to leave the house. She can't fit through the door, is bed-ridden, and requires extensive medical attention to love. To sum it up: "She would die," the county sheriff said.

The court has no idea what to do... How the hell did she kill the kid in the first place? Eat him?

umbrae says

Yo mama's so fat, she avoids indictment by a federal court system.

baron1703 says

MAN THE HARPOONS!

edolfo asks

Was anyone else hoping to see that she sat on the kid?

pozorvlak replies

Hoping is perhaps the wrong word, but yes.

eclipsegum says

A hefty issue for prosecutors.

ezkiel replies

I hope the jury weighs both sides.

drewledoom asks

can't they just leave a trail of cheeseburgers leading to the jail?

George Bush calls Michael Phelps after 8th gold medal

After residential merman Michael Phelps scored his eighth medal of the 2008 Beijing Olympics, he received a call from residential funnyman and all around nice guy George W. Bush. It's not uncommon for a president to call an athlete after a major competitive victory.

What is unusual is that Bush didn't just get on the roof and shout his praise in the general direction of China, since Phelps could probably hear a whale pass gas in the depths of the Pacific Ocean with those giant fucking ears of his.

Foot56 says

I like how Bush responded faster to Michael Phelps winning his 8th gold medal then Hurricane Katrina.

sockpuppets sums up the phone call

"I like turtles" said the president.

xLSDx quotes

W: "How awsome r gold metals?"
MP: "Crazy awsome"
W: "What r u wearing?"
...

Unknown insect discovered on eBay

What a buy! Scientist Richard Harrington won an online auction for an insect frozen in some Han Solo carbonate, I think. The $20 insect turned out to be a long extinct and previously undiscovered species, which makes you feel kind of bad for that Lithuanian who probably bought it at a gift shop and had to pawn it off to buy rice.

douglasr007 says

FUCK I was outbidded by 1 second.

KillPenguin reviews

A++++ WOULD DISCOVER AGAIN

TheJimid calls it

Ebayatourous Foundicous

NickyJean says

I call it, 'The Mosquito'.

yillip quotes

"... and bingo! Dino DNA!"

Olympic gymnasts share a kiss

Not to be outdone by Alicia Sacramone, two blond gymnasts go for the gold. And by gold, I mean share a totally awesome lesbian kiss.

yyymilitia says

It's OK, they're European

oxygen911 says

This is why I root for everyone.

Rally603 says

Is the one in the red holding a bottle of honey? This looks promising...

mickle00 says

2 Girls 1 Medal

ForzenIce says

Poor Nastia looks like she's left out there in her chair all alone. :(

Alicia Sacramone is hot (still)

Okay, so I might be a little enamored with Olympic gymnast Alicia Sacramone. But at least I'm not alone!

Linkin4 says

A hot gymnast... with tits... yes please

nickert0n asks

But can she handle the javelin?

trotskyist replies

I doubt she would have time to train for it given the rigor of her own olympic gymnastics training schedul...
Oh you mean your penis.
Right.

isuisorisuaint's comment was pretty inappropriate

i would suck farts out of her ass like i was hitting a bong.

sbutterscotch replies

I just threw up a little.

hokie47 says

I'd hit it, but I bet she would fall off the bed before I was done.

Monkey blowjob

Well isn't that precious? That's one horny monkey.

Mooseka says

Don't act like you wouldn't be doing the same thing if you could

GeorgeStone2, apparently not the first George Stone, says

He's living the dream.

carbonetc says

So like us...

amanillaenvelope says

I bet it tastes like banana doesn't it.

kalleanka says

C'mon guys, I know you all have tried this at least once in your life and found out that you just can't do it...

U2 songs leak after Bono plays his stereo too loudly

U2 front man Bono is in hot water after it was discovered that songs from U2's new album "No Line on the Horizon" have leaked to the Internet. These tracks aren't your average pre-mix clean rips or even your classic radio taped variations. No, these were recorded super old school: a dude sitting outside Bono's door with a tape recorder.

Bono was playing the pre-release a little too loudly and a prehistoric pirate snagged it, leaking it to the Internet. This is perhaps much worse than a noise complaint.

Rahondeb says

He should be sued by the RIAA for each song he shared.

rowjimmy says

i can already see the discussion on torrent sites.

"is this flac?"
"no, it's rfbs"
"rfbs?"
"recorded from bono's stereo"

PovRayMan sings

YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH

euphoria816 sings

1..... 2..... 3..... 14!!!!!!!

Please do not mount the exhibits

Museum of Sex: Where people go to defile inanimate objects since 2002.

akittenone says

makes you wonder what drove them to putting up this sign

DigitusAnonymus says

In Soviet Russia, exhibit mounts you.

jotate says

They have the same sign posted at petting zoos in New Zealand.

regen replies

Nah, we took them down when you left

SuperIntendent says

I should get a sign like this for my ex-girlfriend

David Hasselhoff launches HoffSpace social network

Knight Rider star David Hasselhoff, who I had the unusual pleasure (?) of interviewing a couple weeks ago, announced on his MySpace page that MySpace just wasn't doing it for him. The Hoff has launched his own social network for Hasselhoff fans at his web site. Will Digg commenters be jumping shark from their Facebooks and MySpaces — well, probably not so much MySpace since the majority of Digg's audience doesn't include 13-year-old girls — to the new Hoff network?

Patrikc325 says

I like him better when he drank.

y2000 says

He is big in Japan.

ZeRux replies

Everyone's big in Japan

gogog0 says

Breaking News: HoffSpace now number one website in Germany.

revollusion declares

This is one of the worst designed websites I have seen in a long time.

benroy replies

Worse than MySpace? Impossible.

benroy links us this groundbreaking video

Men and breasts

Some stupid blog writes about the phenomenon of men liking boobies, and more than a thousand people think it's insightful and worth promoting to the Digg home page. At least the comments were worth reading.

StealthyMong mocks

why is the sky blue?

bokep says

I don't need a fucking article to tell me why I love boobies.

chiliwilli sums it up pretty well

The Article:
Q: Why do men like boobs?
A: Because they like boobs.

jdpafundi requests

Can your boobs please stop staring at my eyes.

Quick! Someone get cyberoidx a calculator!

5318008

Elliottx says

I heard breasts and came running....what's goin on here?

turnipradish says

I love my boobs. :D 36C, they're perfect.

brentinkc replies

I'll be the judge of that.

onlyaftersunset says

Having boobs can be a hassle(some clothes just won't fit right). But it can also be lots of fun. Not because of flaunting them, that's just asking for the wrong kind of attention, but because they feel awesome. Women look at breasts too.

chrgrose replies

O rly???

Parents let kid drop out of school to focus on Guitar Hero

Parents in Raleigh, N.C. (adults, mind you) have given their 16-year-old son the okay to drop out of school to pursue a career in professional Guitar Hero playing. He kept nagging them, saying, "School is a waste of time," and, seemingly for the first time in parenting history, they believed him. He's now looking to enter major league gaming competitions. Oh, and he's never played a real guitar before.

And here's the real surprise: this isn't an Onion parody.

johnleemk says

I swear, the moment I read the headline I said to myself "This has to be from The Onion."

Fireplay1138 asks

Wait wait, he drops out of school so he can play a video game that emulates playing a guitar...WHY THE FUCK DOESN'T HE GO OUT AND BUY A REAL GUITAR?!

Switchnig says

that kid is a professional fag

TheOther1 asks

Isn't that the Sanjaya chick from American Idol?

teotbote says

Awesome. In 5 years, when nobody gives a shit about this game anymore, he's gonna be fucked.

On the bright side, though, he'll be of drinking age. At least he'll have something to do.

Lobster

This is a fantastic photo for many reasons — many of which include the size of the girls' breasts.

mrhumphrey asks

What lobster?

norm_mein might be retarded

Who said kissing a Bug is bad.

solidsevn says

love the side boob, i mean lobster

Chris Lopez says

Bet You that Lobster is Rock Hard.

Insanely steep stairs

Seems somehow less than usable.

Nemesold says

I think those are commonly known as ladders.

Space-Paranoids says

Remember how your slinky would always stall out three steps into the journey?

Probably not a problem here.

Dante2005 says

All stairs feel like this after a few beers.

Barack Obama sucker punches John McCain

Pow! Right in the kisser. Barack just dropped the O-bomb on your ass, Johnny!

ZedoMann asks

Isin't that the pope?

DamienKarras says

That's two for flinching.

alx1507 says

He's winding up for a terrorist fist jab

Who's gonna knock you out? AussieJames says

Obama gonna knock you out!

Bill Plaschke, sports writer: 'I guess I like penis'

Continuing the "weird Chinese food" series, we have a video of LA Times sports writer Bill Plaschke eating animal penises in Beijing. Plaschke's reaction in the video is comment gold in and of itself: "It's got a little texture to it. But it's really tasty. I guess, I guess I like penis," he says. "And it does, you feel rich. It does give you this feeling. Maybe it's mental, but it's like your testosterone's going mad right now."
Man, Plaschke, that's kinda gay.

MarkInIrvine says

Bone appetit!

thereigoagain claims

this is blatant sexism. who will eat animal vagina????

GoodwithWood replies

I'll give it a try!

MarkInIrvine replies

It's tasty - like chicken .. or wait a minute - more like tuna!

cindyw chimes in

My kids always liked fish dicks.

14 reasons food in Beijing is a little different

For those that envy the athletes and journalists that get to travel to exotic Chinese locales, these photos showing the country's delicacies, which include bugs and the oh-so-tasty fried seahorse, might make you appreciate just watching the games from your quiet, safe, fried insect-free house.

Snoosy says

Nothing like eating dog brains.

dawnraid101 says

OM NOM NOM NOM,

But seriously dung beetles wtf.

johnsonjoeb says

Apparently the recipe for most of this is:

1. Shove a stick up its ass.
2. Fry it.

Isaac Hayes dead at 65

Soul legend and South Park voice actor Isaac Hayes was found unconscious next to a still-running treadmill, and died a week ago. You know, it seems like a lot of these funny comment posts are at the expense of dead people... Meh, it's funny.

Cenobite sings

He's a dead mother- SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

adam1mc says

RIP Chef

BoonTobias asks

how am i gonna find the clitoris now????!!

PhillyMJS asks

Yesterday Bernie Mac, today Isaac Hayes. Who's gonna be number three?

chrisj33 replies

[answer]

funnyboy88 asks

Why not Carlos Me -

nah. too easy.

Kids love pudding and messing shit up

This photo of a capricious little scamp's run-in with a bowl of pudding would make an excellent birth control promo. You listening, Trojan?

charlesxcharles says

And this is why I am so happy not to have children. That and all the extra money I have.

dregsplod has a point

Just be happy it's chocolate pudding...

Ellrick seems kind of weird

I was hoping it was shit.

keimabans says

1 girl 1 bowl.. The new internet sensation..

Student collapses every time she laughs

In probably the second-wost medical condition imaginable (right behind being allergic to water), Kay Underwood, 20, has cataplexy, a rare medical disorder that causes her muscles to dramatically weaken when she experiences any sort of emotion, according to the Telegraph UK. Excitement, awe, fear, surprise, laughter and embarrassment can all cause her to fall to the ground. Imagine getting dissed by your crush, your face turning read, and then collapsing onto the floor. Oh, and she's also narcoleptic.

I hope she's reading the blog right now because these comments will make her ROFL — either that, or fall asleep.

skidme says

That would be an awesome friend to have. You can test out jokes on them.

MrAwesomeMan suggests

She should marry Carrot top. Problem solved!

subiiime says

LO

sysop073 says

"Victims are often left paralysed for several minutes, although they always retain the ability to hear what is going on around them."
Oh good, I would definitely want to be aware of what people are saying while I lay there

GVR90 says

LOL *thud*

Welcome to Llanfairpwl — aw, fuck it!

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch: Whoever named this station is an asshole.

lukemorris asks

If I say it backwards, will I be transported to a parallel universe?

HyperJack says

My Welsh teacher made us learn how to say this once.
What a waste of time. Then again, so were all my other Welsh lessons.

powatom says

Welsh was invented to pis off English speakers. Look at this for a larf:

Taxi.

And now in Welsh!

Tacsi

thehouse says

Pronounced:

'Kebert Xela' on 'Jeopardy,' like for realz

You've got to admire Jared. He's going against some guy who looks like a divorce lawyer preparing to take all of your money, and a geeky, super genius. Jared has one freakin' dollar, so he figures he might as well just go for a laugh. I say, job well done, sir.

kittydreamz86 says

He pronounced it wrong on purpose. What a cheat.

cokewyte says

he pronounced it wrong so he wouldnt go back to the 5th dimension

Bizzer10 says

dude your a legend

i cant belive you actually tried to send him back to the 5th dimension

FancyUnicorn says

Someone give him that dollar!

rebelgamer makes a good observation about the intellectual value of TV

Want to know why he only had 1$ at the final question?

...its because he spends all his time watching Family Guy!

And here's a clip from that Family Guy episode. The reason it comes from Tubearoo (WTF is Tubearoo?) is that Fox is all over this copyright infringement thing. You'd be hard pressed to find any decent Family Guy clips on the 'Tube.

This guy actually bought $1,000 'I Am Rich' iPhone app

A lot of people couldn't help but feel sorry for this poor sucker who bought the $999.99 "I Am Rich" useless iPhone application. I, however, have no pity.

bullioncube says

Someone's wife is getting a beating

ahhell says

So he's blaming his wife for his own fucking stupidity?
What a fucking douchenozzle.

heanshi says

iDiot

hollywoodphony says

"Wah! Wah! Wah!"

That's you. That's what you sound like.

The best hotel commercial ever made

Watch the whole video before reading the comments.

mfratz says

K, that was ridiculously sexual...I gotta go take a cold shower after having watched that 3 times.

lundeja wonders

How they managed to uncover one of my most secret fetishes is beyond me...

sgiffy says

So she licks the spoon then puts it back in the drawer. Thats kind of dickish,

HermitZidler says

An OCD person's "two girl's one cup."

FlyCO says

I'd let her lick my crapper, if you know what I mean...

oh God, I feel so dirty now

NFL announces code of conduct for fans

For the professional sport that keeps on giving (stupidity), the NFL has announced a fan code of conduct. Such provisions frown upon drunkenness, using foul language, and verbal or physical harassment of the opposing team. What do you think, fans?

acmaurer says

OK, good luck with that, NFL

Ryansmellsfarts says

Sucks for Raiders fans.

skandalousisu says

Good thing it cost too much to get drunk at an NFL game.

Football announcer: 'That's kinda gay'

It's Must See Thursday: If you haven't seen it, it's new to you! This two-year-old YouTube video of a college football color commentator at an NIU-Iowa game disses his play-by-play guy high school style. To be fair, there were about five "that's what she said" opportunities.

magicmagician says

awkward...

ShmuckyPuppy says

What a professional.

skatelivendie1 declares

GREATEST MOMENT IN FOOTBALL EVER!!!

TeacupOfDoom recalls

oh man, i heard an announcer say "Thats the deepest penetration he's had so far in that position" i only wish i was recording that damn college game!

HerbertVolck gives us an update on the announcer's employment

He gets fired because of this harmless comment?
Come on. That's gay.

Bacon alarm clock

How would you like to wake up to the smell of sizzling bacon. Best of all, you really can eat it once it's ready! I love science. Nah, forget science; I love bacon!

Oxygen says

This has to be man's single greatest achievement EVER!

OtterStratton questions the divine device

What happens if you're a really deep sleeper, and your house burns down? Because that would be a waste of good bacon.

MCBowelmovement really likes bacon

This is, perhaps the greatest thing I have ever seen.

jakeshdaddy says

As a Jew I find this to be utterly repulsive and offensive!

haikuFU replies

No pork for Jew!!

techblogLAT says

I, for one, welcome bacon.

SpectralSounds asks

Did they replace the snooze button with an "Extra Crispy" button?

How China prevented a downpour for Olympic opening ceremony

China kept rainfall at bay for last Friday's Olympic opening ceremonies thanks to shells of silver iodide. It's not scientifically proven, but by the unscientific factor, it didn't rain on Friday so I say it's a success!

hellsing47 says

China can control the weather?

Fuck.

justjoehere may have come to an amazing revelation

I thought they only made toys

JazminMillion says

This is a great idea, I wonder if it will make my hair fall out?

BMW: You know you're not the first

There is something profoundly fucked up about this ad.

jamestwisleton says

That girl has some mileage

canewediggit will buy

the bmw sloppy seconds series.

GeorgeCarlin says

This would work for a condom ad as well.

Farmer77 says

I never knew Emma Watson was such a slut.

atomicpoet says

That is the hottest Ewok I have ever seen.

Dundasbro references

Do you come with the car?

SheikYabooty replies

Oh you! hehehehehe

Kayakityak asks

She's what... 14?

PDF84 replies

makes it hotter

techdever replies

why don't you have a seat? right over there....

The 10 real reasons why geeks make better lovers

Wired, a magazine for geeks, has published perhaps the most ingenious traffic-getter imaginable. For geeks, a.k.a. the Internet, the article has three crucial appeals: It's a list; it's self-complimentary; and it's about sex. Throw a picture of Batman in there, and you've got the new Google.

onlyaftersunset asks

What about the cute geek girls? Are we better lovers, too? I like to think so.

hehdot replies

You don't exist. You're a figment of my imagination.

I think BXRWXR is missing an 'R' somewhere

Well, along with many other things, the Geeks did invent anal.

wesniles replies

i thought that was the gays

binorgog replies

We didn't invent it, we just made it trendy.

leftfark says

While you're totally fantasizing about this chick who finally *gets* you, here's the face and body behind the writing (scroll down a little bit). [pictured right]

Haroshia replies

DO NOT WANT!

dave122 replies

she looks like Mr. Ed.

Alicia Sacramone is hot

This comment comes thanks to the Internet: The top search on Google's hot trends list is the term "Alicia Sacramone is hot." The phrase shot up the charts following the U.S. Olympics team's dramatic collapse against China Tuesday night, thanks in no small part to two notable Sacramone screw-ups.

But I've got to say, Internet: I was thinking the exact same thing.

Psst! More pix plz k thx.

Man calls 911 over incorrect sandwich

A man in Jacksonville, Fla. called 911 — not once but twice — reporting a sandwich emergency. Subway, the alleged sandwich terrorists, screwed up this guy's order, and he was so furious that he contacted police to complain, according to First Coast News. The second call was in regards to police not showing up in response to the first call.

When the Jacksonville po, which apparently had nothing better to do, did arrive at the Subway, the victim said he ordered two sandwiches, checked out and when he got outside, he realized they did not have "everything" he ordered. This guy fits into a unique brand of "dumb ass" when you consider, as my brother points out, that Subway prepares your food right in front of you. Makes me kind of wish he got this 911 operator instead.

qcumber98 mourns

What a waste of sandwiches!!

dkapuchino replies

The true 911 conspiracy!

BizarreNews points out

Florida has it's own TAG on Fark
/ - just sayin

chadwalters23 chastises Subway

And they call themselves "sandwich artists." Liars.

kingscup digs up one of the greatest phone calls ever

Here is an audio 9-1-1 call of someone being given the wrong hamburger in a drive-thru.

Is this your cat?

After hitting the home page of Digg, I wonder how many phone calls poor Tyler got from people trying to claim their cat. Disclaimer: This is potentially older than John McCain.

spencer corning asks

haha... how the hell do you mistake a chihuaha for a cat?

sp33m replies

about the same way you mistake an opposum for a chihuaha.

GoatRoper comments on the picture's lack of timeliness

This was front page two wives ago for me

Best deal in Vegas

I'll take ten!

whataboutdave says

And they said the dollar was weak...

CptBuck says

Until you get a look at him.

larryjr88 says

I know a place for a buck fifty.

sockpuppets replies

Your mom lives in Vegas?

Trojan Elexa ultra sensitive condoms (24-pack)

Though not really a news story, Woot, a retailer of random junk, posted a special a couple weeks ago for a 24-pack of rubbers, and some funny comments followed. According to their US sales heat map, there are apparently a bunch of people getting laid regularly in Washington, Oregon and Utah. Damn mormons studs and your dozens of wives.

biftek says

wooters dont have a use for this.

troyal82 find a practical use

expensive balloons

rbanke asks an important question

Are these refurbs?

soularmor asks

Will these still work if I'm pretty small?

copey72: What?

Damnit, wish I hadn't bought the fish tank now!

Thanks to Susan from Texas for the tip about the Woot forum goldmine.