Elephant rides: This wasn't in the brochure

That looks like fun all around.

monkeysmasher says

Everyone in that picture just really wants to get off.

MrInfallible says

Fucking Elephants.....

thankyousir replies

why can't they stop screwing around?

sublimeparanoia says

HEY elephants want to ride elephants too

Megan Fox in high school

Looking at these photos of Transformers star and instant hottie Megan Fox in high school seems kind of wrong. But you know you're going to look anyway.

minnepinne says

Hotter than expected.

theberlindoctor says

This is getting a little creepy.

alostreflection asks

Did she attend high school in the 1950's? Why are these all black and white?

bixby1 says

I just found my sole purpose for the creation of a time machine.

MrDoug replies

...you'd still never have a shot.

RunDiggMC says

I yearn to do things with her that are sexual in nature.

jazzfunkblues replies

I'm not sure that I understand what you mean..

Scientists find 'pleasure nerves'

Holy fucking... I just had to pull this excerpt out — the second line of the story.

"And people had to be stroked at a certain speed - 4-5cm per second - to activate the pleasure sensation."

Oh, man. Seriously, BBC?

sirron881 says

I have to stroke faster than the study speed to achieve pleasure...

agentsrecord says

I discovered my pleasure nerves when I was 13. Does that make me a scientist?

bonarez asks

If they really located the G-spot why don't they just tell us where it is?

Bra sizes may (pleasantly) surprise you

Bra size increasing on average? Shit, sounds good to me. Great, in fact.

Plus, it gives me another reason to include that picture of Denise Milani's boobs.

spritom asks

Who said the media only reports bad news?

yoshi911911911 says

I, for one, welcome our new large boob overlords.

ZincSaucier says

i like the new boobs but i also liked the previous boobs

CrankMyBlueSax says

Q: How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?

A: Put a nipple on it.

tardmaster says

Why does the little mermaid wear sea shells?

Because B shells are too small!

70s gay porn star dies, survived by his wife

OK, this is an unusual obit.

Jack Wrangler, a ruggedly handsome 1970s-era porn star whose openness about his homosexuality made him a symbol of self-confidence for many gay men, died Tuesday in New York City from complications of lung disease.

He eventually married some actress.

Whamdangler says

ACTING!

Uchiha_Cycliste says

"Honey, how was your day?"
"Horrible! I couldn't help feeling like everyone I work with is trying to f*ck me up the ass."

No YOU'RE a Towel says

Does not approve.

Spray enables men to last 6x longer after penetration

Premature ejaculators rejoice! Science, in all its glory, has manufactured a spray that extends the amount of time a man can last during sex up to six times longer. Longer as in time, not like those informercials.

Unfortunately, it needs to be applied post-penetration. So, you're like just getting started, and it starts getting steamy. And then you pull out, say, "Hold on, I need to spray this medical shit on my dick." Then, you have a 20-minute, boner-killing argument about how you don't have herpes, and how you explode way too soon, and that this should help.

sjbdallas says

6 seconds, here I come!

Bigtony1340 says

No more 2 pump chump.

mostie says

Now I just have to make it to the penetration part!

Denise Milani's huge boobs

So, I was browsing this weblog called Holy Taco, which seems to employ a fair amount of plebeian humor alongside the occasional photo spread of HOLY TITS, LOOK AT THOSE THINGS!

thefinch says

Her tits look as if Jesus Christ himself made love to a big breasted unicorn and she was their offspring.

dane says

that girl is going to have some back issues later on in life...I will have wrist issues right now though...

Voltara says

Wonderful, as for a long time I have been interested in this young woman's opinion on world affairs and the financial crisis. The fact she is a topless model only enhances her credibility

Anonymous says

What is the hangup with real vs. fake? Look at those things... if they are fake then her plastic surgeon deserves a nobel prize.

Testicle Festival

Sometimes you've got to just give props to a brilliantly worded description. This one comes straight from my Digger, Burrento:

"The fundraising idea may seem a little nuts, but Oakdale's annual Testicle Festival is always a big hit. On Monday, volunteers with the town's Rotary Club plan to fry up 400 pounds of the private parts of bulls and serve them to diners who pay $50 apiece for the sit-down meal."

If you haven't figured it out by now, I selectively choose which stories get photos to accompany them. This one, I'm sorry to say, will remain text-only. Perverts.

fearofcups says

Well this is just nuts.

ballsjohnson (Yes, that's really his user name) says

There's so many puns here...its ridiculous.

daqq says

$50 to put balls in my mouth?

Go to the right place and you can get paid for that.

Raccoon bites off man's penis after attempted rape

I'm going to start off with a bit of honesty. I didn't read the story. I got the gist of it, but even this is too messed up for me to glance over — especially while at work.

To summarize (which could be completely incorrect because, again, I didn't read this), a man tried to have sexy-time with a raccoon and had his dongle removed forcibly. Oh, and it happened in Russia — not that you didn't know that already.

trib4lmaniac says

"When I saw the raccoon I thought I’d have some fun."

It's happened to us all.

shutaro says

OM NOM NOM NOM!

4321234 says

Couldn't resist that sweet, sweet coontang.

awesometastic1 says

In Soviet Russia, the raccoons rape you

dtfinch says

It was a mistake to start with oral foreplay.

Playboy posts unedited back issues online for free

I've often heard people suggest that newspapers could create a very clever new revenue model by opening up their historical archives. As we know, the adult entertainment industry is always ahead of trends. So, it should come as no surprise that the original dirty magazine, Playboy, is opening up its archives online.

Bashnu says

Damn, now my screens are stuck together.

R0am3r says

And they have great articles too...

kevman459 says

Finally! You can find the pics for free all over the internet, but those articles are hard to come by!

GrooTheWanderer says

It's okay, no child has ever figured out a way around the ingenious "I am at least 18" button.

Acetate says

It's like masturbating in a time machine!

rebirf says

I could barely stop fapping to write this comment.

12-hour Viagra-fueled orgy ends in death

Happy Friday!

A 28-year-old Russian man died after taking a bottle of Viagra pills for an apparent 12-hour sex romp. Two women told Moscow police they bet Tuganov $US4300 that he wouldn't be able to satisfy them during a non-stop half day sex marathon. The mechanic died of a heart attack minutes after winning the bet.

No accompanying photo necessary for this one, I think.

alapoet says

Maybe that's how I wanna go out...

KoldKalamity says

fuck AND get money? it normally works the other way around.

inhaler replies

In Soviet Russia...

bixby says

Well done! (except the dying part)

mdisc says

he went out with a bang

draxenato says

He came and went at the same time, I wouldn't mind having that on my gravestone

hawk0168 says

Penis asplode.

Hot Super Bowl fans paint bodies

Everybody excited for the Super Bowl matchup?! Look, I'm sorry again for taking so much time away from my golden nuggets. But I can make it up to you with this month-old, but still super awesome clip of girls painting themselves in a sort of Rebecca Romijn (not Stamos!) from X-Men thing.

You might need to login to view the above video. Because it's just that awesome.

tj111 says

Not that I don't love the Superbowl, but I'd rather watch 3 hours of this instead.

feezus says

I liked the part with the boobies.

nils says

Works much better with the sound turned off.

robEstyles says

FAKE! no one is actually a Cardinals fan

fluxboxuk says

This isnt where i parked my car !

Most hardcore Pokemon fan

OK, let me preface by saying that the piece of junk website that is LiveJournal threw up a "must register" block. And since there's no passwords on BugMeNot, I say, screw you! So, if you are the one of three people on the Internet (who aren't in high school on the Internet) with a LiveJournal account, enjoy the weirdness that is "Pokemon girl."

The gist of it: This girl really, really likes Pikachu, and may be the primary source of income for Nintendo. If you can't tell from the thumbnail, she has a lot of Pika-merch.

Malik112099 says

One good dick and she'll burn all that shit.

sjbdallas says

You know what? I think I would.

ileftfark says

Flabby thighs... I choose YOU!

Can Digg get this guy laid?

How would a geek down on his luck with women turn a platonic friendship with a pretty girl into a one-time bang off? Create a website, called Help a Virgin, and get her to agree to have sex with you if the page gets 5 million hits. Oh, and don't forget to submit it to Digg and all those websites with loads of sympathetic dudes.

So, there's an idea. Will he succeed? Probably not. Poor geek.

Darren07 asks

Can Digg get him laid? As in, pay for a hooker?

Bukowsky says

Nobody on digg gets laid... that's why we all just yell at each other in comment threads.

crashbang suggests

Heres a crazy idea;
go out to a bar and talk to a couple of girls before you do something this retarded. I mean, honestly....

Enjoy the benefits of a cordless massager

Hey, fellas! You know, the holidays are coming up, and if you're looking for an innocent gift for the sis or mother, every girl loves a cordless massage gadget! They'll love it because it relieves all that muscle stress and tension, and a thoughtful gift like this one is sure to relieve any of that social tension you might have.

drbonemonkey asks

Do they come in any other flavors and scents besides fish?

0ceanic says

its funny because it could also be used to massage the inside of her vagina.

black296tuuk says

You're doing it wrong.

'I am under 18' button clicked for first time in history

Anything better than the Onion or porn? What about an Onion article about porn. Oh, yes.

jenel asks

So, who else went to juggworld.com just after reading the article?

(fun fact: it doesn't actually have an "I'm under 18" button)

iDiggIt42 replies

However, I am not disappointed by the content.

GarrettGrimsley replies

***WARNING***

Juggworld.com is a real site - Do NOT go there unless you want to see naked women with large breasts.

buddamus replies

Thanks for the warning, I thought it was about poetry

dasamps says

I once clicked the "I'm under 18" button, but it was in french so that was more of an accident really.

n0t0kayipr0mis3 says

I'm gonna be 18 on friday, can't wait!!!

Hugh Hefner lays off Playboy bunnies amidst financial crisis

The collapse of the financial sector ain't got nothing on the tragedy that has befallen the Playboy Mansion. Hugh Hefner has been forced to cut back on staff due to the tough economic situation. When will the injustices end? When, I ask?!

Rollic says

We live in a world where this isn't a parody news headline.

Wow.

shauntacular asks

How much are the lower end bunnies going for? The "Clearance Rack"!

jmark13 says

I'll "staff" one.

Wait, Make that two...

darkchild82 says

Hot babes with huge tits will survive any financial crisis.

Hottest wedding dress ever

This wedding dress just screams classiness. Where's my wedding invitation?

rrouse says

That's not a dress.

Lucifugerising replies

...thats a space station?

Jakerzon replies

It's a slut wrap.

Haidoken says

hot yes, but it belongs in the bedroom, not on the aisle

Nowheredan replies

Specifically, MY bedroom.

drewfusb replies

it belongs everywhere, to everyone

kangy3213 says

you may now fap the bride

Man killed by condom

Man stretches condom over his head. Man suffocates. What a way to go.

Pete0430 says

Natural selection at its finest!

DroogInPhoenix says

Safe sex kills.

jcharak58 says

covered the wrong head

Guitar Hero optical illusion

Rumor is if you stare at it long enough, you can see she's playing Guitar Hero. It's not working for me, but then again, I was never very good at decoding those 3D Magic Eye paintings.

Melodik says

She's spilling out of her top. That's not attractive, just an indication she needs better-fitting clothing.

bustachops replies

false - it's attractive. my wiener does not lie

skinflute replies

It's an indication that they want out.

aforce369 says

I'd let her use my whammy-bar.

Mistle says

I don't know if anyone has noticed, but if you look away from the guitar you can see she has pretty big breasts.

lipglossnerd asks

Which is more plastic? The guitar or her boobs?

saeglopur says

It's a sailboat.