Smart kids are more likely to become drunks

Are you drunk right now? If you're reading this when I first posted it (around 9 in the morning), you're an alcoholic and should seek help. If you're drunk at a reasonable hour, then you might be a genius! A study at the University of Glasgow shows a correlation between high IQs and having a drinking problems.

If you want to seem smart, hit the bottle, brother. Plus, it's Halloween so you have a legitimate excuse.

Matt88 says

I'm a fucking genius!!

yz101 says

smart = college = drinking = ...

SuburbianMike says

E = MC DRUNK!

notfromoklahoma asks

Isn't polling Scots about drunkenness like going to McDonald's to ask if people like McNuggets?

Social networking sites more popular than porn

First the Playboy Mansion layoffs, now porn is losing out to Facebook? What has this world come to?

staplemaniac explains the phenomenon

One is used for jerkin it
One is used for finding someone to jerk it for ya

BTConan replies

You are a master of the English language.

socivitus says

This whole "social" thing the web is going through is just a phase. Back in '99 it used to be cool to have flashing images all over your site, that faded out. Porn on the other hand has never loss its stride.

l3asketCase says

Jerking off to the girl my my American Lit class is way better than doing it to girls I don't know.

40 unwritten rules to live by

Men's Health puts together a pretty stupid list of male virtues. One of them is "easy on the mayo." No joke.

ScottMitchell says

Despite the article's title, there were 40 rules written down on the page, plain as day. Unwritten, my ass.

waxcrash says

I have never met a straight man that reads Men's Health.

theadvinci says

10. Do not get a visible tattoo larger than your penis.

wrzhydr replies

doesn't leave me much options then..

Ducks' Todd Marchant scores crazy goal

At least, I think it's a crazy goal. It says it's a crazy goal.

I'm more impressed that professional hockey still exists.

Benjamintc says

Nifty how he made the puck completely invisible.

ABadPerson replies

Only Canadians can see the puck.

Clancycoop says

I had to deduce from the announcer's excitement that something cool actually happened.

Bogus: Sarah Palin: If ice melts, polar bears can adapt

The English newspaper Telegraph printed — or rather, posted; I'm not sure if this made it into the paper — a bogus quote from Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin. "These magnificent, cuddly white bears are doing just fine and don't need our protection," Palin supposedly said. "If the ice melts, they'll adapt to living on the land."

The statement was, in fact, too dumb to be true. Yes, even for a Republican, who was found wearing a scarf promoting the Democrat donkey symbol (left). The Telegraph didn't respond for comment, but they did revise the original story, acknowledging the quote's inaccuracy.

But let's pretend it was real because the comments are funnier that way.

CabanaBoy says

Perhaps they can adapt to eat Republican Vice-president candidates...

4321234 replies

Not much nutritional value there. Full of shit.

mvanhorn asks

Don't you have to believe in evolution to have them adapt?

BeatPunchbeef says

Yeah, nothing says camouflage in the woods like a BIG WHITE FUCKING BEAR.

His prey will adapt by seeing him a mile away.

'I am under 18' button clicked for first time in history

Anything better than the Onion or porn? What about an Onion article about porn. Oh, yes.

jenel asks

So, who else went to juggworld.com just after reading the article?

(fun fact: it doesn't actually have an "I'm under 18" button)

iDiggIt42 replies

However, I am not disappointed by the content.

GarrettGrimsley replies

***WARNING***

Juggworld.com is a real site - Do NOT go there unless you want to see naked women with large breasts.

buddamus replies

Thanks for the warning, I thought it was about poetry

dasamps says

I once clicked the "I'm under 18" button, but it was in french so that was more of an accident really.

n0t0kayipr0mis3 says

I'm gonna be 18 on friday, can't wait!!!

Lucas and Spielberg rape Indiana Jones on South Park

If you happened to miss the South Park season premiere a couple weeks ago (and if you did, you suck), here's the highlight of the episode. Lucas' face during the pinball scene is absolutely priceless.

Aguyinachair asks

Was anyone unnerved by those rape scenes in that episode? Usually I'm for South Park, but something about those clips made me really uneasy...maybe I'm just a wuss.

OptionalPirate replies

Yes. Yes you are.

BlaqReaper replies

After 2 girls 1 cup nothing phases...oh God the images, they burn!

Barack Obama's health care for small businesses

In the final debate, Barack Obama details how much small-business Joe (who I assume is this Joe Six-pack I'm hearing all about, but I didn't actually see this debate) will have to pay in fines under his health care plan. John McCain seems to respond, "Oh, that sounds pretty sweet!"

kezia1 says

Wha-Wha-Whaaaaa?

Fordi says

I think he was trying to look incredulous - but McCain doesn't have a lot of expressive capability, so it just came out as 'dumbfounded'.

rmtamm says

He averages two blinks per second throughout the entire clip!

Blaqreaper replies

Counted 51 blinks, but I'm sure I missed some in there too....
I need to make better use of my life.

rentmitchum replies

If he doesn't his eyes will start to dry out which starts the complete reversal of the unmummification...

..he's really old.

Backwards B Fail

Probably both my favorite Fail blog entry and my favorite comment thread.

Scuba horse

What the fuck, indeed.

solstice21 says

It's a sea horse!

bwjacket says

You can lead a horse to water... or dress him like a fucking idiot. But never both at the same time.

ar0ne says

Look out, its Scuba Steed

O.J. Simpson found guilty of armed robbery

O.J. couldn't dodge the bullet this time. A jury found the former gridiron juggernaut guilty of 12 counts of armed robbery. Let's see how the Digg users decided to mourn the football legend.

AlphaMack says

13 years to the day. Talk about karma.

AshsToAshs says

Hes a a famous black man... he was obviously framed.

Shiv68 says

We finally got him! Alright white people!

ishnupu says

On the outside he was OJ
In prison he's Blo J

Puppy performs mouth to mouth

That'll do, dog. That will do.

akpwnzz says

Securing the forehead can sometimes go over looked. Looks like this pup knows what hes doing.

yellowfish04 says

Head On, apply puppy directly to the forehead.
Head On, apply puppy directly to the forehead.
Head On, apply puppy DIRECTLY to the forehead.

McMahon9 says

"If you don't make it, Michael Vick is gonna adopt me!"

datagod says

Nothing like waking up hung over to a mouth full of puppy puke...

coolremo says

Notice the bulge in the guy's pants.

XenoSNK replies

Notice your noticing of the bulge in the guy's pants.

Suicide is not funny

Case in point: an AIM conversation that probably should have been taken seriously. But I guess that's why there are suicide hotlines — most people on the Internet are douche bags.

Syphon0928 says

If Nick's real dad is a dumbfuck, then I guess it runs in the family.
I mean...How can you not want a go-cart??

Pandatot replies

That is an unanswerable question.

Ftown13 says

Better advice than Dr. Phil

Masna says

This guy should be a psychologist!

"My boyfriend just committed suicide because of me..."
"I have just the fix.." *pulls out go cart*

Animal alley parade on Trigger Happy TV

I really miss this show. Britain's hidden camera show, Trigger Happy TV, was by far one of the best British exports since the Beatles.

masterfuja embodies the maturity of YouTube commenters

ha.. ha he ran like fag

badboyburton360 says

my dad was the fox in that part and he got paid £50 for it

sniperskisocks says

that is not funny at all that happens to me all the time and i to me its stupid

brianamaec replies

wtf how does it happen to you all the time ?!

sniperskisocks replies

i have a lot of dumb friends!

Game consoles stored in GameStop bathroom

Having worked at a major game retailer for a couple months, I can tell you from first hand experience that keeping merchandise in the employee bathroom is nothing out of the ordinary. These stores only have so much space in the back for everything, and spillover into the bathroom is sometimes unavoidable.

We kept some of the refurbished systems in the bathroom. So if that grosses you out, you might want to only buy new — or from a store with unlimited spacial resources, like Wal-Mart or something.

MikeonTV says

I dont think that bothers me

SteveLRowe might be bothered

Slowly takes the Xbox 360 out of my mouth

homer420032003 says

WARNING: Don't lick your Xbox.

nymphetamine replies

What I do with my Xbox, in the privacy of my home, is none of your business.

Error page for the error page

An error page someone encountered using Gmail: "Dear valued user, You have reached the error page for the error page... You win!!"

benighted says

"Archivement unlocked"

drex8 says

You win 1 Internet.
Please use it recklessly.

ConanMayerFan says

too much internet for today, i'm going out to get some fresh error

Enjoy the view

I've got to say: I wouldn't find that very entertaining.

markbrown says

Holy fucking shit ... a family room with a fireplace!

kLacK says

If you trim the bushes it will make your deck look bigger.

kalleanka says

i like the part where dock was misspelled dick... haha

LopsidedZebra replies

I think they meant deck...

Fl0ydP1nkert0n says

I think they meant penis.

Hugh Hefner lays off Playboy bunnies amidst financial crisis

The collapse of the financial sector ain't got nothing on the tragedy that has befallen the Playboy Mansion. Hugh Hefner has been forced to cut back on staff due to the tough economic situation. When will the injustices end? When, I ask?!

Rollic says

We live in a world where this isn't a parody news headline.

Wow.

shauntacular asks

How much are the lower end bunnies going for? The "Clearance Rack"!

jmark13 says

I'll "staff" one.

Wait, Make that two...

darkchild82 says

Hot babes with huge tits will survive any financial crisis.

Hottest wedding dress ever

This wedding dress just screams classiness. Where's my wedding invitation?

rrouse says

That's not a dress.

Lucifugerising replies

...thats a space station?

Jakerzon replies

It's a slut wrap.

Haidoken says

hot yes, but it belongs in the bedroom, not on the aisle

Nowheredan replies

Specifically, MY bedroom.

drewfusb replies

it belongs everywhere, to everyone

kangy3213 says

you may now fap the bride

Free stuff

Women's publications generally aren't my go-to source for guidance, but this one has a nifty list of stuff you can get for free that you would never have expected were free. And Digg users had some additional things to add to that list.

psykiv reminisces

Back in the day: Free money ala alladvantage and desktopdollars
Free internet through netzero
free 1 800 number through ureach
free webspace: angelfire, tripod
free domains: (there was one, but forgot the name)

I remember there was even one for a free car (although you were basically driving around a giant billboard, and you have to pay the gas and insurance)

beefchi says

free stds
http://www.craigslist.org/

seantubridy says

Free Willy
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106965/

seantubridy had one more to add

Free Tibet.

Scrabble grave tombstone

Cool idea, sad stuff.

PhillyMJS says

Hasbro sues the guy's estate in 3... 2... 1...

gabrielbeug asks

Why is he hard?

adrames replies

"Poker" "Hard" "Inside"

bdfariello says

What do you want on your Tombstone?
Pepperoni and Cheese!

Real age dog chart

Turns out your dog's age isn't as simple as multiply by seven. Its size is a significant factor once it comes to ages past two.

pdizz says

This is messed up. I've always gone by the 1:7 ratio and given that assumption I wont let my dog drink beer until he's three years old. Now this chart says he could have been drinking since he was about 1 yr 8 mo old. I'm going to give him a beer and an apology as soon as I get home.

Gargilius replies

I barely dare to ask what you did to celebrate your dog's second and a half anniversary...

DIGGISRUNBYTHEGOVT says

I've never seen a 60 year old man run down a football field and back to catch a ball and run all the way back to retrieve it. How does this age thing get calculated anyways? :-)

Spacepope6 replies

Clearly you've never heard of Vinny Testaverde.

EA class action lawsuit over Spore SecuROM DRM

A class action lawsuit is being brought against Electronic Arts, the publisher of the highly anticipated PC game Spore. Seems they pissed off one too many people with the SecuROM digital rights management technology that makes resale of the game nearly impossible. It's not just that, but they don't really tell you about the DRM when you buy it.

This is shaping up to be very, very reminiscent of the Sony rootkit case of a couple years ago.

Croecop says

DRM is like taking two cocks in the ass at the same time, but not regular cocks, I'm talking the huge porno sized ones.

santaliqueur replies

Is that the first analogy you thought of? Huge cocks?

dvsbastard says

DRM = Digitally Rape Me