Teen changes name to something stupid

An English teen has officially changed his name to Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined. The geek, formally known as George Garratt, pissed off his grandma with the name change, which cost him $20, that she is no longer speaking with him.

So, what do Diggers think about the name change?

blitzkriegpunk says

Still not gonna get him laid.

TomT223 says

No big deal. I went to school with a lot of kids with that same exact name

naturalpapa says

How about just Dork?

How can I get my labrador dog to stop urinating and defacating on me while I'm sleeping?

Yahoo Answers strikes again.

As hilarious as the question "How can I get my labrador dog to stop urinating and defacating on me while I'm sleeping?" and the accompanying description are, the comments are even better. How does Yahoo manage to pack so much stupidity into one website?

Kensington V asks

How can I get my labrador dog to stop urinating and defacating on me while I'm sleeping?

She's 7 years old and in the last few months she has taken to jumping on the bed when I am sleeping and either doing a poo or weeing on me. I don't find out until I wake up in the morning. Why is she doing this and how can I stop her? PS I can't put her outside, I live in a small apartment and it is too cold for her elsewhere.

Cole D replies

A H AH AH AHA HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

runbmd replies

You may want to take off your fire hydrant costume before you go to bed.

Boy Howdy! replies

She obviously thinks that your bed is her territory and is trying to mark it. You need to assert that it is your territory so you need to urinate or defaecate on your own bed to show that it is yours.

Sarah Palin does TV interview while turkeys are slaughtered

Happy Thanksgiving! I'll leave you with this Sarah Palin turkey slaughter video of which I'm sure you've already seen.

UberNick says

She and the turkey should trade places

jnorby says

The 'gotcha media' got her again!!

Dirtcock says

What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her vagina?

Only some of the things that come out of her vagina are retarded.

I have a Dreamcast

Inspirational.

Oh, and the Dreamcast was fucking sweet! Anyone remember Phantasy Star Online? PowerStone? Virtua Tennis? Jet Grind Radio?

No? Well, you suck then.

MrFayce says

LOL

I thought that was hitler

thelastcivilian says

I guess the time has come that we can make fun of civil rights leaders.

BooostedAWD says

This would be funny if my Dreamcast didn't get stolen last week.

PlutoniumPlague replies

Now you know who has it....

Ann Coulter has mouth wired shut

Thanks to a fortuitous jaw injury, national sweetheart and vehement racist Ann Coulter had her mouth forcibly wired shut, according to reports. This is especially infuriating if you're Ann Coulter because a few weeks ago, she learned that the next president would be a black man, and now she has to deal with no being able to tell people how furious she is about that.

It's a tragedy, really.

ibmetom says

So the glory hole in the fifth floor men's can at FOX HQ is temporarily out of service.

Playincard says

I'd still fuck her in the mouth.

kublakhan replies

frankly, I'd much prefer to beat her with a rusty tire iron

pandawho1212 says

When reached for comment, Coulter scribbled this on a notepad angrily: "you're all GAY!!!"

krugerlive says

From the comments

While they were wiring her jaw shut they should have also removed her adam's apple and her penis

Here's my password, Gmail team

Hm, looks legit to me.

sub1 says

Dont be a pussy it looks legit.

bazacko says

I didn't get one of these, but I sent my info just to be safe.

Oxygen recommends

You better include your Social Security Number too, just to be safe.

Enjoy the benefits of a cordless massager

Hey, fellas! You know, the holidays are coming up, and if you're looking for an innocent gift for the sis or mother, every girl loves a cordless massage gadget! They'll love it because it relieves all that muscle stress and tension, and a thoughtful gift like this one is sure to relieve any of that social tension you might have.

drbonemonkey asks

Do they come in any other flavors and scents besides fish?

0ceanic says

its funny because it could also be used to massage the inside of her vagina.

black296tuuk says

You're doing it wrong.

Hacking your brain for a better life

The website Brainz was off to a bad start to begin with. Any use of a "z" in place of an "s" is a bright, neon sign, alerting onlookers to how stupid you are. That was strike one.

Strike two is the use of the word "hack" in reference to a vital human organ. It's been a downhill battle for years, but you only hack computers, not body parts. Hacking a body part means to cut it off. For those keeping score, that was strike two.

I couldn't really find reason enough to strike out Brainz's "15 ways to hack your brain" because it has some pretty nice pictures and a few decent ideas. But I mostly look at things for the pictures. So, No. 1 and 15 certainly do the job.

VodkanLemons says

Warning: if you hack your brain, you will die

aherman says

I refuse to read articles that tell me how to 'hack' non-hackable stuff.

batmanz says

When I saw the first two pictures I got all excited because of the chicks in bikinis. Then I was disappointed when the streak ended at number 3. Then I got all excited again when number 4 was bacon.

'Weight Loss Tea' fail

This ad should neither require explanation nor exist.

Jeoffray says

Abortion tea FTW.

Vagabond says

Hey, I know someone on that diet >> she’s due this month… good diet

Vagabond replies

‘Only way to lose weight is through your vagina!’

grond replies

Or through other types of sport…

Ryannon replies

Vagina is considered sport?

What's Joe the Plumber saying to John McCain's daughter?

Look, I promise this is the last election-related post I'll do. I know the election is weeks over, but this one's for one last look (or for many, the first) at John McCain's super hot daughter.

hjmt says

"There's a POW in my pants."

mattgilberg says

"The only thing that's longer and harder than this election is my erection"

bigtimslim asks

Why haven't I seen paparazzi photos of her on a beach yet?

abarysh2 replies

Because unfortunately she didn't inherit Cindy's figure..

doublefelix replies

I'd hit it, then vote against it.

sandersdamnit says

"I want to stick my penis inside your vagina."

Rainemaker replies

"If you know what I mean".

The Incredible Jesuc Car

Some people love Jesus. And some people really love Jesus (and the Republican party). To be fair, though, I would probably drive this car.

zadadka says

Dunno about the 'States, but in the UK, because those stickers impede rear view, they would constitute a traffic offence / violation.

chr0nic21 replies

The owner of this car violates the intelligence of humanity.

DrDigg asks

Why do these nuts always live in my state.

Genrre replies

Because we are 49th in public education :(

mrKuenzel points out

The All-American.... Toyota.

LowFuel asks

What would Jesuc drive?

2008 electoral map if only young people voted

The map, a result of polling young people from around the country, shows how the election would have looked if those old farts weren't allowed to vote or leave the house. Of course, this shows absolutely no correlation to the outcome of future elections. You know, time and money have a way of changing people's political views.

I'd like to see this map for the 1960 election. Lee Harvey Oswald may very well have been the only young person on the entire map to vote red.

enki25 says

This is great. My understanding is that all the old people are in the process of dying.

droford asks

Now wheres the one where it shows only the votes of old people?

quasipolymath replies

They all voted for Matlock. It was a landslide.

rahamm says

Only the suckiest states in the Union are red.

YOU HEAR ME IDAHO take your shitty potatos and go home!

riverrunner replies

Crap I kinda like Idaho.

se1zure says

If Just black people voted

Color red proven to make men horny

I love science research with little to no realistic application to science. Researchers at the University of Rochester found that men are more likely to go for a woman wearing red. So, that lady in the red dress is clearly hotter than the bombshell in blue. Right.

tads73 says

fine print: "Does not work for nutcases from Alaska with the initials SP.

feralape replies

or works twice as good wink wink

foambullet says

You know what else makes men horny? Everything.

feralape asks

.... oh really? Your Grandmother makes you horny? What about your Mother or Sister? well, ok, Mothers are gross and we should probably exclude sisters from this- but you know what I'm saying.

foambullet replies

Great, now I have a boner at work...

feralape suggests

Try covering it up with a book.

CNN hologram technology

For those who were watching CNN during the Election Day coverage (and why would you when there's Fox News in the world, amirite?), I'm sure you were no doubt aware that CNN has hologram technology — mainly because Wolf Blitzner nearly shat himself over it.

CNN had Jessica Yellin "projected" into the studio live from thousands of miles away in a full 3D hologram for their coverage, which really means they took a video of her in front of a greenscreen and superimposed it onto the video later.

The absurdity of CNN getting so stoked over this (and the media following) coupled with the fact that they paid, like, $300,000 to get this done is my favorite part. Oh, and the comments.

animerat says

Help me Wolf Blitzer you are my only hope

dynamitekidtx asks

CNN HAS HOLOGRAM TECHNOLOGY HOLY FUCKING SHIT HOW LONG HAVE THEY HAD THIS?!?

smittysize says

Think of the porn implications!

pattyman5000 says

"Thank you Jessica. You were a terrific hologram."

Barack Obama: C-C-C-Combo Breaker

Barack Obama is president. And, man, that's a lot of white dudes.

SolidEuphoria says

Only in American can a history of old white looking women turn into a young black man.

tallguyg replies

that already happened in reverse with Michael Jackson.

astrobela says

It's funny because it's change.

sockpuppets says

I'm colorblind. Which one is he?

Shissy replies

The black one.

ocsurferreport says

[Image]

Election Day

No funny today. Go vote!

October surprise? Bush attacks Syria

The most exciting thing about the election season is what each party pulls out at the end of October as a last minute attempt to sway votes. Sadly, this year there was nothing noteworthy. Well, the Republican administration did attack the Syrian border, but nothing, you know, like DUIs.

platypusREX says

This is some fucked up shit.

rawnzilla says

The Bush/McCain Iraq Exit Strategy: Go through Syria.

rileyhallwood says

uh oh