Dog riding a bike

Seriously, what more can I say than what's in the title. It's a dog riding a bicycle. I promise.

g33kfu says

Oh Japan...

Neikos says

This is what the internet is for.

Alejo43 says

Basic amusement at its finest.

To Dorian Gray, from Oscar Wilde

Oscar Wilde's male-on-male promiscuity is no historical mystery. He wrote plays, and was just an all around gay dude. But this school assignment — whether it actually happened or not — is pretty funny.

I'm not gay, so I don't know who Dorian Gray is. It might be funnier if I knew who that was, but I'll stick to being straight. And the only reason I have any familiarity with Oscar Wilde is because the Uncyclopedia is obsessed with him.

Maybe that encyclopedia is gay... Hm.

Trax91 says

If anyone read The Picture of Dorian Gray, you couldn't cut the homoerotic tension with a knife!

jd33 replies

I think you mean spoon.

You could definitely cut it with a knife.

moo2u2 replies

I see you've played knifey-spooney before!

Best forum ever

Message board statistics: 1090 threads, 2264 posts, 1 user. Yes, one guy maintained a back-and-forth conversation of sorts. With himself. More than a thousand times. In public.

Sadly, the unabomber-like weirdo, who runs the Web forum, has since taken the website offline. But trust me, it's more depressing than you would care to see.

arTech says

"She was a really nice neighbour. Always kept to herself"

crushfan says

Internet -- where desperately lonely people are ... still lonely.

phazonsuit says

http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/8154/ggjhgkhgjw ...

Steve Jobs, 1 year apart

If you've read any business news recently, then I'm sure you're well aware of the health problems plaguing Apple CEO Steve Jobs. So, instead of bore you with any elaborate details of what Jobs calls a "hormone imbalance," here's an illustration, showing exactly how accelerated this problem has become.

10goto10 says

Holy shit, his turtleneck got blacker.

jgray1975 says

Its the Steve Jobs Nano.

mlbwebdesign says

Pffffffft, He's fine! He looks great for 75. wait, he's 53?

spritom says

My iPhone did the same thing to me. The 2.0 version is radioactive!

justkikuchi says

hormone imbalance, my ass

chipxsd replies

your ass is hormone imbalanced?

Copyright claims breaks Death Cab for Cutie's own videos on their website

Step 1, make music. Step 2, get noticed. Step 3, join major label. Step 4, make some money and lots of fame. Step 5, get screwed repeatedly. This step repeats for a long time.

Once-indie, once-rock band Death Cab for Cutie lost all of the YouTube-hosted videos on their website thanks to a falling out between the Google video website and their label, Warner Music Group. Pretty embarrassing for a band when fans click on a video on their website, and it's absent due to "copyright claims."

CaptainCrunch says

This comment is no longer available due to a copyright claim by WMG.

Longchamp asks

Things used to be this way in Hollywood. Actors were underpaid and under the thumb of execs. (I don't know how, but) They rose up and now have control that would've been unheard of 70 years ago. Why hasn't this happened in the music industry?

Cloakofthenight says

Looks like we can look forward to DRM free DCFC music in the future.

ChingChangCharlie says

That sucks. That was definitely the best work that Robin Williams has done in a long time. Edward Norton was good, as usual. A funny-ass dark comedy.

axonblue replies

lolwut

Obama fisting

What could this possibly be about, you might ask after reading the title of this post. Just watch the video.

See it yet? Yes, Fox News really is that retarded.

shoover says

I don't think that means what you think it means...

JakeBC says

I wish I could have been around later when someone explained her comment to her.

thundercloud39 says

Last seen on the door of the oval office ...

"Out to Lunch. Gone Fisting"

doublebummer says

In a cabinet meeting today president Obama gave out 10 handjobs...that's what this kids are calling a handshake now...right?

CNN: Obamas juggle inaugural balls

Barack and Michelle Obama had the No. 2 most balls on inauguration night, second only to Bill Clinton. Clinton unsurprisingly topped all other president's number of balls. Get the innuendo yet? The news coverage of those stupid dances was so unending last Tuesday that I'm starting to think the overt sexual references were purposeful.

Come on, an editor didn't look at this "juggle balls" headline, and stop to think: Wow, you know what this could also sound like...? Worry not, you can always buy the t-shirt.

Snoosy says

That title reminds me of fondling testicles.

Udog replies

You're a nut.

hyperspaztik replies

You're having a ball with this one.

steelcash84 replies

That comment was below the belt.

Reveillark replies

No need to get testy

World's oldest person dies at 115

Maria de Jesus, 115, died in northwest Portugal recently. The old bat is believed to have been the oldest living person, as listed in the Guinness Book of World Records. Gertrude Baines, a 114-year-old Los Angeles resident, now takes the title.

What have we learned? One, people stopped naming their kids Gertrude approximately 114 years ago. And two, if your name is Jesus, you're probably pretty special.

roebeet says

Too young....

sjbdallas says

There better be an autopsy because this death sounds suspicious.

Dea7hleprachaun says

World's second oldest person: "YESSSSSSSS!!"

bixby1 says

If I'm the new title holder, Gertrude Baines, I'd be shitting my pants (even more than usual)

Crazysticks says

Doesn't this happen like every month? Do we really need to hear about it every time?

ExoBit replies

But this one has Jesus in her name.

Ham dick

That's one meaty chode.

Ordonez says

It’s circumcised… so it’s kosher?

lolerblades says

lol I can’t wait to get that into my mouth.

fuzz on the concept says

Chokes like chicken.

I make it to the fence in 2.8 seconds. Can you?

This is one ballsy German Shepherd. Would I take the risk? Probably not. Unless there's something totally awesome on the other side of the fence. Like a dog.

So, can you make it to the fence in 2.8 seconds?

ophello says

Maybe, but if the dog beats me to the fence, that's really okay.

barnis says

I have a gun. Do you?

speedk0re says

Holy Shit a talking dog!

Wonder Boner

Sick of de-boning fish? Why not try the Wonder Boner! The rod is the secret. Trust me.

boaks says

lol “My wife would like that…”

Dalkorian replies

Yeah, that’s still tickling my funny boner.

Mookie says

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a boner and he’s yours for a lifetime.

Happy deer is happy

He certainly is one happy deer. Until he finds out his mother was executed by a hunter.

singleton asks

How can people actually shoot these little guys?

sockpuppets replies

With a gun.

Murdats replies

they shoot the sad ones.

machoraz replies

Don't kid yourself, he'd kill you and everyone you care about if he could.

tomejuan says

I liked the part when the deer was happy.