World's oldest person dies at 115

Maria de Jesus, 115, died in northwest Portugal recently. The old bat is believed to have been the oldest living person, as listed in the Guinness Book of World Records. Gertrude Baines, a 114-year-old Los Angeles resident, now takes the title.

What have we learned? One, people stopped naming their kids Gertrude approximately 114 years ago. And two, if your name is Jesus, you're probably pretty special.

roebeet says

Too young....

sjbdallas says

There better be an autopsy because this death sounds suspicious.

Dea7hleprachaun says

World's second oldest person: "YESSSSSSSS!!"

bixby1 says

If I'm the new title holder, Gertrude Baines, I'd be shitting my pants (even more than usual)

Crazysticks says

Doesn't this happen like every month? Do we really need to hear about it every time?

ExoBit replies

But this one has Jesus in her name.