Best forum ever

Message board statistics: 1090 threads, 2264 posts, 1 user. Yes, one guy maintained a back-and-forth conversation of sorts. With himself. More than a thousand times. In public.

Sadly, the unabomber-like weirdo, who runs the Web forum, has since taken the website offline. But trust me, it's more depressing than you would care to see.

arTech says

"She was a really nice neighbour. Always kept to herself"

crushfan says

Internet -- where desperately lonely people are ... still lonely.

phazonsuit says

http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/8154/ggjhgkhgjw ...

Steve Jobs, 1 year apart

If you've read any business news recently, then I'm sure you're well aware of the health problems plaguing Apple CEO Steve Jobs. So, instead of bore you with any elaborate details of what Jobs calls a "hormone imbalance," here's an illustration, showing exactly how accelerated this problem has become.

10goto10 says

Holy shit, his turtleneck got blacker.

jgray1975 says

Its the Steve Jobs Nano.

mlbwebdesign says

Pffffffft, He's fine! He looks great for 75. wait, he's 53?

spritom says

My iPhone did the same thing to me. The 2.0 version is radioactive!

justkikuchi says

hormone imbalance, my ass

chipxsd replies

your ass is hormone imbalanced?

Copyright claims breaks Death Cab for Cutie's own videos on their website

Step 1, make music. Step 2, get noticed. Step 3, join major label. Step 4, make some money and lots of fame. Step 5, get screwed repeatedly. This step repeats for a long time.

Once-indie, once-rock band Death Cab for Cutie lost all of the YouTube-hosted videos on their website thanks to a falling out between the Google video website and their label, Warner Music Group. Pretty embarrassing for a band when fans click on a video on their website, and it's absent due to "copyright claims."

CaptainCrunch says

This comment is no longer available due to a copyright claim by WMG.

Longchamp asks

Things used to be this way in Hollywood. Actors were underpaid and under the thumb of execs. (I don't know how, but) They rose up and now have control that would've been unheard of 70 years ago. Why hasn't this happened in the music industry?

Cloakofthenight says

Looks like we can look forward to DRM free DCFC music in the future.

ChingChangCharlie says

That sucks. That was definitely the best work that Robin Williams has done in a long time. Edward Norton was good, as usual. A funny-ass dark comedy.

axonblue replies

lolwut

Obama fisting

What could this possibly be about, you might ask after reading the title of this post. Just watch the video.

See it yet? Yes, Fox News really is that retarded.

shoover says

I don't think that means what you think it means...

JakeBC says

I wish I could have been around later when someone explained her comment to her.

thundercloud39 says

Last seen on the door of the oval office ...

"Out to Lunch. Gone Fisting"

doublebummer says

In a cabinet meeting today president Obama gave out 10 handjobs...that's what this kids are calling a handshake now...right?

CNN: Obamas juggle inaugural balls

Barack and Michelle Obama had the No. 2 most balls on inauguration night, second only to Bill Clinton. Clinton unsurprisingly topped all other president's number of balls. Get the innuendo yet? The news coverage of those stupid dances was so unending last Tuesday that I'm starting to think the overt sexual references were purposeful.

Come on, an editor didn't look at this "juggle balls" headline, and stop to think: Wow, you know what this could also sound like...? Worry not, you can always buy the t-shirt.

Snoosy says

That title reminds me of fondling testicles.

Udog replies

You're a nut.

hyperspaztik replies

You're having a ball with this one.

steelcash84 replies

That comment was below the belt.

Reveillark replies

No need to get testy

World's oldest person dies at 115

Maria de Jesus, 115, died in northwest Portugal recently. The old bat is believed to have been the oldest living person, as listed in the Guinness Book of World Records. Gertrude Baines, a 114-year-old Los Angeles resident, now takes the title.

What have we learned? One, people stopped naming their kids Gertrude approximately 114 years ago. And two, if your name is Jesus, you're probably pretty special.

roebeet says

Too young....

sjbdallas says

There better be an autopsy because this death sounds suspicious.

Dea7hleprachaun says

World's second oldest person: "YESSSSSSSS!!"

bixby1 says

If I'm the new title holder, Gertrude Baines, I'd be shitting my pants (even more than usual)

Crazysticks says

Doesn't this happen like every month? Do we really need to hear about it every time?

ExoBit replies

But this one has Jesus in her name.

Ham dick

That's one meaty chode.

Ordonez says

It’s circumcised… so it’s kosher?

lolerblades says

lol I can’t wait to get that into my mouth.

fuzz on the concept says

Chokes like chicken.

I make it to the fence in 2.8 seconds. Can you?

This is one ballsy German Shepherd. Would I take the risk? Probably not. Unless there's something totally awesome on the other side of the fence. Like a dog.

So, can you make it to the fence in 2.8 seconds?

ophello says

Maybe, but if the dog beats me to the fence, that's really okay.

barnis says

I have a gun. Do you?

speedk0re says

Holy Shit a talking dog!

Wonder Boner

Sick of de-boning fish? Why not try the Wonder Boner! The rod is the secret. Trust me.

boaks says

lol “My wife would like that…”

Dalkorian replies

Yeah, that’s still tickling my funny boner.

Mookie says

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a boner and he’s yours for a lifetime.

Happy deer is happy

He certainly is one happy deer. Until he finds out his mother was executed by a hunter.

singleton asks

How can people actually shoot these little guys?

sockpuppets replies

With a gun.

Murdats replies

they shoot the sad ones.

machoraz replies

Don't kid yourself, he'd kill you and everyone you care about if he could.

tomejuan says

I liked the part when the deer was happy.

Polar bear chases man around car

The Daily Mail, apparently the rag of the U.K., has an entertaining photo report about an Alaskan man, who narrowly escaped a polar bear attack by running around his truck. One might say he barely makes it out alive. Heh.

spaceshipsix says

I'm sure he was very thankful for the photographer's heroic help documenting his near death experience.

For my sake I'm glad he took the pictures.

iSeven says

needs more Benny Hill theme song

doublefelix says

That's the last time he will wear Seal's new fragrance.

UMDWei says

"Hey! I just want you to try this new Coke."

Anyone know a website for cool Bebo profile names?

Yahoo Answers (I refuse to put that pretentious exclamation point) is the Alabama of the Internet — packed with stupidity and incest. While you'll find some of the most legitimately ridiculous comments on the Internet there, it's almost addicting. I mean, how can an entire website community be so incredibly stupid?

One user questions, "Anyone know a website for cool Bebo profile names?" (Bebo, for those who don't know, is a Web-based instant messenger.) The No. 1 response is both humbling and entertaining.

ThatGeek asks

who lurks through yahoo answers to find these things?

Brak710101 says

"... when men were men, women were men, and children were FBI agents..."

That's an epic quote.

HilmFromReddit says

Anyone else have to google to figure WTF's a bebo?

Which is worse: ignorance or apathy

I don't know, and I don't care. Zing!

Walcherina says

I see what he did there.

ardembiniwoot says

he put a ripped effect at the sides, even though it's not that good, i still see effort...

cynicalalbrit94 replies

Don't forget the shadow.

tidu replies

it's like he tore the screen right off!

WUThad says

This is ridiculous, you can't tear pages out of the internet.

College diversity

Racial diversity, it seems, is only a Photoshop away.

BorsKaegel says

It's like the ethnically-diverse 'Where's Waldo'.

bodhibay says

I found him!

dharasick says

It looks like he was photoshopped in...

whitezombie420 replies

pretty sure thats the point

honeymustardn replies

I imagine you wearing a monocle.

snaglepuss says

When you see it...

PixelMagic replies

...you'll cling tighter to your purse.

mysticalalone replies

Brad do you have any issues with " burn in " on your plasma?
nope
kool
How well does it handle blacks
I have it bolted to the wall, so they can't really take it without some serious work

SifuMoKung replies

I love when racist jokes make me laugh against my will.

McDonald's pays 1,000 people to stand in line

Going to Japan, in some respects, is like going back in time. Sure, they surpass the United States in a number of health and technological aspects. (Sony and Nintendo gadgets are a couple light years ahead of ours.) But at least we have the Quarter Pounder, jerks!

McDonald's, perhaps the most legendary U.S. export, admitted to paying 1,000 Japanese to stand outside the fast food restaurant in Osaka for the debut of the Quarter Pounder in Japan. Basically half the people in line were paid to stand around and collect free food. The other half pretty much got screwed royally (with cheese).

One of the best Micky-Dees burgers I've ever had was at the Kyoto, Japan branch. I think it was called the Pepper Cheese Double Beef, but who knows? (Not Google.) All I remember was it being tiny and not really living up to the "double patty" standard. Maybe that explains why the Quarter Pounder is such a big deal over there. They must be Whopper Virgins.

3xx6 says

McPitiful.

avataros says

Were they lovin' it?

anagoge says

If you were offered money to stand in line for food, you'd do it too. I mean come on, free money and then you get a burger at the end of the line? I like that sort of queue.

megaton replies

That's a queue I can get behind!

Kathy Griffin New Year's comments catch Anderson Cooper off guard

CNN learned perhaps its most important lesson of the year -- don't let Kathy Griffin on TV. And if you must, please, please don't give her a live, open mic. The C-list comedian and maddeningly obnoxious Griffin responded to a heckler live during CNN's 2008 New Year Eve broadcast, saying she doesn't go to his job and "knock the dicks out of his mouth."

And did you know she dated Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak? What a pair.

Pooty says

Holy shit, Kathy Griffin said something funny

outoforder says

Someone needs to knock a dick into her mouth. Chick is loud, and obnoxious.

HilmFromReddit says

I wish she came to my job and knocked the dicks out of my mouth, i am so tired of having dicks in my mouth, please come take them out of my mouth.

Z2k9: Zune fail

Not a good way to ring in the new year. On December 31, Microsoft 30G Zune media players around the world began failing. Simultaneously. All of them.

Some called it Z2k9. That's because Zune owners are almost entirely huge nerds (see: photo, right). But when this is all forgotten a couple days from now, there will always be that single day in history when Microsoft is exposed for designing really crappy software... Wait.

joe122370 says

All Zunes sold? both of them?

Crath says

I guess they are frozune now.

thenextman says

Today is the 366th day of the year... Did someone at MS forget about leap years?

djnermal says

My zune failed and my relationship failed all in the same day. Bring in the new year.

kiiwii replies

Maybe your relationship just needs a firmware update?

Goldest comments of 2008

It's been six months since I began cut and pasting offensive statements from Web trolls onto this blog. As Comment Gold rings in its first new year, let's take a look back at the blog's most read posts since launch.

Plus, I'm still pretty hung over, and this is easier than scouring the Internet for comments.

1. Oh Well - Death to memes.
2. Church sign champion: Our Lady of Martyrs - Apparently there are a ton of people Googling these churches. Who knew?
3. Olympic gymnasts share a kiss - Leveraging a combination of the summer's hot topic (the Olympics) and evergreen Internet content (sex) was a success. Barring this post, I don't normally go for cheap hits. Well, this and...
4. Alicia Sacramone is hot - I guess I'll take some easy traffic every once and a while. Look! It was a good formula, OK?
5. $17. Now that's gangsta - This kid is an Internet superstar.
6. Football announcer: 'That's kinda gay' - A hilarious college sports moment caught on tape that one commenter called, without hyperbole, the "greatest moment in football ever."
7. Barack Obama: C-C-C-Combo Breaker - Besides the Olympics, there was another hot topic this year: the O-bomb. Congrats to the first black president-elect.
8. Is this your cat? - Stupidity always has a place on this list.