Broken skateboard has the last laugh

I'm not one for skateboarding videos unless it involves someone on the business end of a painfully hilarious smash to the balls. Fortunately that's 99% of skateboarding videos, but that's not this one. Though still pretty entertaining, it's sorely lacking in pelvis punishment.


Broken Skateboard Has Last Laugh - Watch more free videos

chrissku says

Awww snap

VdgX says

I call this trick... Newton's law.

PrometheusZero says

I think his "friends" had the last laugh...

vulpescry says

That's why I don't wear my sisters pants.

Losing virginity late may cause sexual dysfunction

File this one in "well duh" category. This solid report comes from ABC News, the knights of hard-hitting journalism (some say sarcasm doesn't come across well on the Internet, but I beg to differ). It finds that losing your virginity as late as 22 can result in sexual dysfunction, according to a recent survey. I envision scientists rounding up a group of nerds and examining them with stethoscopes to come to this groundbreaking conclusion.

The fact that this made it to the front page of Reddit (whereas none of my story submissions do, you fucking elitist assholes, why won't you just vote up my submissions already!) says something about its user base: namely that is comprised of a lot of 22-year-old virgins. Like a Discovery Channel documentary, let's listen in.

svengalus thinks they may have it backwards

Or sexual disfunction makes it harder for you to get laid. Which seems more probable?

It quickly turned into a relationship advice forum for IkoIkoComic

I sent this link to a 22-year-old-virgin that I know, on account of it being overwhelmingly appropriate. ... She's my girlfriend.

frukt is confused

Aren't you supposed to have sex with girlfriends or have I totally misunderstood something?

IkoIkoComic explains

This is not always how it works.

(See: Christianity)

gigaquack offers an alternative

Try to talk her into anal.

helaughed agrees

It's what Jesus would do.

Kanye West responds to Bonnaroo critics

The response from fans and Web goers following Kanye West's delayed Bonnaroo performance, which didn't start until after 4 a.m. was not so welcoming. The night of the event, West received a healthy round of boos and thrown shit at the stage (not actual feces, though he probably deserved it). He did a little PR damage control via his blog with what can only be described as a poorly organized, extended IM. None of these Digg comments make sense without having read West's original blog post, so you should go do that now. Go ahead, I'll wait.

Okay. Let's get started.

feacesface says

You know, he really didn't give it his all.

Well said, strum

Pearl Jam went over 1 hour. You were 2 hours late. I know you're a college dropout and all, but do the math.
While everyone is out waiting on your late ass you're in Atlanta having a blast. You could've come out on stage personally while everyone's waiting and explained the holdup and people would be more tolerant. You could've allowed Phil Lesh, who was playing opposite you, to finish his set rather than request he be taken off the stage an hour early.
You could've cared a bit more.
And you sure as hell could've taken your caps lock off.

brulec says

SQUID BRAINS!!!

mrsEastandmrWest has a piece of history

WOW I SAVED THIS TO MY WORD DOCUMENT...SHOWS HOW SINCERE YOU ARE..

0260 says

what a sour puss.

5 questions no man wants to hear

It's not too often some chick's blog about relationship advice makes it to the front page of the heavily geeky, sexist, relationship-less Digg web site, but by golly those nerds have proved us wrong. The post "5 questions no man wants to hear" is blogger Divine Caroline's attempting at throwing all dignity to the wind and writing a piece demeaning women to cater to an all male demographic.

Advice like "don't ask about his past relationships," "don't be a nagging whore," "don't try to advance the relationship" and "don't ask questions" are sound suggestions in any man's mind, but not the average tips you'll see coming from the fingernailed hands of a female blogger. But right as rain, here are the tips, and below are a few questions men would universally much less like to hear than "Am I fat?" (though that one is a booby trap in and of itself).

CalmBlueOcean adds

6: Would you hold my glass eye?

chazizzle says

is it in?

Hiji says

Can you come over to check this pregnancy test?

DeskFlyer says

"Did I mention I have a boyfriend?"

Negativelon says

... "Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?"

LizNovack says

"Can you throw my jock strap in the wash with yours?"

tradwollely approves our list

All of the questions above that I read are better than the ones on that crappy list.

Response from the man who discovered Tila Tequila

A factually contentious story on how Stuff Magazine former editor Jimmy Jellinek made cover girl Tila Tequila famous (he reportedly spent a few minutes finding a girl with the most MySpace friends — Tequila) has incited a less than cordial e-mail response from Jellinek: "Hey Corey go fuck yourself…"

Turns out Tequila (the prostitute, not the alcohol) makes excellent comment fodder.

Farmer77 welcomes Tequilla's reappearance on Digg

Great! Another chance for me to call Tila Tequila a midget alien on the front page.

fsufanizzle has got pretty much the consensus

4 foot gremlin faced whore

burntubes has crucial advice

Just for the love of gawd don't add water or feed after midnight....

mystafreaze clarification: SMC = "suck my cock"

Tila may look like a gremlin, but she can SMC till she hurls anyday!

ivansusanin struggles to understand American culture

why are whores so popular in the western hemisphere?

So BladeMelbourne clears it up for him

Because they put out?

And byronne asks the 4-million-dollar question

Who is Tila Tequila?

Crash Reporter quit unexpectedly

An image showing Mac's system crash reporter describing the Crash Reporter application quitting unexpectedly made the rounds on Flickr and Digg. The Digg story appeared with an apt headline "Oh, the irony!!" It's an interesting photo, but the comments was where the funny is at.


The logic is too much for berrray

*head asplodes*

sighmon says

did osx get an std from your windows install?

If lukemc coded your OS

what happens if you press "report"? most likely you'll get rick rolled

mooseontheloose is a casual reader of the dictionary

This isn't irony. Irony means to be composed partly or entirely of iron.

Girl spins on escalator

This is one of those things I can't believe no one has ever thought of before. The girl in the video lies on the revolving handrails of adjacent escalators, causing her to spin in circles. Cool trick, and it doesn't hurt that she's hot. That fact made up most of the comments from horny Diggers.



mkpaa's life gains meaning

Added that to list of "things to do before I die".

Though DaviDTC isn't quite sure which meaning

Escalator thing or the girl?

jd33 crafts innuendos

Hot blonde sitting and spinning? Are you fucking kidding me? Dugg.

LFAB crafts less tricky innuendos

I'd Spin It

btschul leaves nothing to the imagination

Is it wrong that I got incredibly turned on by this video?

Evi1d33d says

Inaccurate, women can't discover stuff.

Rocky and the Governator Team Up

A Bollywood film will be made at Universal Studios for the first time, casting Sly Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Seems his tenure as governor of California still affords him enough time to handle other pressing issues, like star in silly movies. Regardless, teaming up two of the most indecipherable voices in Hollywood will be a recipe for hilarity. Let's see what Diggers have to say.

2clone has the winning formula

Its propbably going to be 90% dancing and 10 % plot.

Krillin appears to have an advance copy of the script

Schwarzenegger: It was a glorious summer in Oxford when I met Freddy Cavendish, a most remarkable young man, whose friendship would change my life forever.

Sylvester Stallone: (Leans back in the boat) You are the anchor that gives my spirit license to soar.

1gunners4 says

Jesus Christ, we're going to need fucking subtitles for the entire movie.

freezerburn666 just gets plain racist

well that video clip sure was fucking gay. and what exactly makes this a bollywood film, again? an indian producer? does that mean like, the 6th sense was bollywood because that brown guy made it? also, get your own fucking actors bollywood. why dont think just get some big hindu steven segel type fags to do this shit movie...

Ice on Mars an important breakthrough

You'll often see stories reappear on Digg. Whether it be hours or days after the original headline dominates top news, one of these faux reactions stories makes its way onto the home page. For whatever reason, it gets votes. Maybe it's from users who hadn't seen or dugg the original news; or maybe these people just like the story so much that they think it should appear on the home page twice. (Ever heard the comment, "I'd digg it twice if I could?")

Okay, enough rambling. There's fucking ice on Mars. Here's what people had to say.

hokie47's new business venture

Now rich people will have a new ultra expensive bottle water.

Dirtpile is unimpressed

Tell me when they find bourbon.

Darren07 is the decider

Screw water, let's start drilling for oil!

No, oduska, I don't think that's how it works

Well duh there's ice... we just need to melt it to get oxygen!

tdishman calls dupe

Isn't this straight out of the storyline to Total Recall?

bgrah449 has got career advice for Rob Van Winkle

Ice on Mars should be Vanilla Ice's new album.

edwartica has better advice

No, Vanilla Ice should never make a new album.

'Social Viagra' could boost confidence

A new drug containing oxytocin, a natural hormone released by new mothers to assist with childbirth and with the bonding between mother and child, is being dubbed "social Viagra" for its applications in boosting confidence. Users reportedly experience less anxiety in social situations.

As if the working title "social Viagra" wasn't funny enough, the Digg comments really hammered the point home.

Thrope is pleased

We can now have OUTSIDE friends. :D

phrenzy, loopis and thewebinfront broke out into song

Shyness is nice...
Shyness can stop you....
From doing all the things in life you'd like to...

(It's the Smiths, you jerk.)

Mothers, lock up your daughters 'cause jitjit is on the loose

Together with 'social Viagra' and normal Viagra i shall be unstoppable!

Dundasbro points out that the confidence drug has been around for ages

Its called beer.

Chocolate company refuses bathroom to girl with diarrhea

The Rocky Mountain Chocolate Company in Huntington Beach refused to let a 5-year-old girl with a violent case of the liquid shits use their employee bathroom. When the salesmen refused, the girl sprayed doo-doo all over herself and her mother, sending them running to the nearest movie theater restroom.

The ironic parallels of a chocolate reseller refusing someone use of their bathroom when they have to bake a fudge dragon produced some great responses on Digg.

Mariasha is puntastic

That's pretty shitty of them.

insurgente highlights the financial benefits of public restrooms

I bet they tried to sell that diarrhea for profit.

keymanjim2 crafts a better headline

A customer at The Rocky Mountain Chocolate Company gets a bad case of the Hershey squirts.

Earth Will Survive After All, Physists Say

Good news from the scientific community: our planet will not, I repeat, will not be crushed into nonexistence by an enormous black hole. Digg has the full scoop on the man-made particle accelerator that will go into effect next fall, a device previously suspected to cause the end of being. Though the jury is still out on whether the future of Earth is a positive development.

alapoet (blog) is understandably pleased with the positive outlook

Well, that's certainly welcome news!

Despite the good news, DigDigg55 remains skeptical

FAMOUS LAST WORDS

glinsvad might have used slightly different wording in his review

I wonder if this is the first time the phrase "planet-gobbling black hole" has been used in a safety review...

GLMonkey has seen the phrase before

Actually, it is the second time, the first time was when they did a safety review of the Rosie O'Donnell Show...

Loopt is for Douchebags

Flickr gives us a comment softball with a picture showing the CEO of Loopt, a location based social network, wearing two, bright colored, polo shirts at the Apple Worldwide Developers Conferece. Twitter's @gruber kicks off the brutality with, "Loopt is a location-based social network for douchebags who wear two ill-fitting polo shirts at the same time."

califmom comes in with a zzzzing

the 80s called. they want their layered polos back.

To answer thtstudios' question: utter disappointment

I want to know what was going through Steve Jobs head when he saw this dude on the Apple stage.

naikuchi applauds this fashion pioneer

epic

And finally, phander breaks out the image we all knew was coming

Cue the 4 popped collar cool guy

Woman uses bra for SOS signal

Jessica Bruinsma, 24, a Colorado woman who was hurt hiking, was rescued from a German mountain after being missing for three days. She used her brightly colored bar as a distress signal. From the Telegraph story: "Hoping to attract the attention of rescuers, she sent the bra down the valley on the cable and hung out her underwear on a crag. She then waited, with only a small flask of water and some biscuits to sustain her."

The police chief said the bra saved her life because a logger, who had heard about the missing woman, saw it and phoned mountain rescue. Police described the girl as "in good physical shape."

McBradd gets the obvious comment out of the way

Pics or it didn't happen

dougvfr750 applauds the girl's clever choice of alert signal

Young women's bras get my attention too...

Though, Richie311 points out that it's a fairly well known fact

My uncle always said that a girls bra is most useful when its off, but just dont think this is wat he meant....

username484767 isn't even trying

I can't think of a joke, so I'll say this:

I like boobs.

seedplanter likes puns

Can I give this article another title? "Woman uses bra to save her ass".

Aside from saving her life, Rudegar thinks there's another reward in order

did they give her beads?

fudged71 finds the new MacGyver?

That was actually a very McGyver thing to do. Very cool

bmystry doesn't think so

No a very McGyver thing is if she used the bra and cable to make some sort of helicopter and fly to safety

Ancient Shipwreck Yields 2,400-year-old Salad Dressing

A Digg story about a 2,400-year-old jar of salad dressing found in an ancient Greek shipwreck yielded some great responses. Scientists say oregano helped preserve the mixture.

chouch says

You mean Oregano is valuable then? I thought it was only good for making fake bags of weed.

Shh! MrTito is going to ruin their whole operation

So that's where the Hidden Valley is...

kenvsryu attempted to spark a mature, open dialogue

Greeks love tossed salads?

ichbeineinrcg says

I don't see the news here. Olive Garden has been serving millenia-old food for a while now.

ElbertF is probably a regular at the Olive Garden

That would go perfectly with my 2,400 year old salad.

dOOBiEx213 ponders the other angles of this story

An entire fucking ship wrecked... and THESE ARE THE PICTURES YOU GIVE US? As usual, Discovery, you fail.

Animal Rights

These comments come from the Digg image, Animal Rights. It appears that the social news site has a strong following among the carnivore demographic.


I like MattFid's logic

If we're not supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

Touché axiomflash, touché

If we're not supposed to eat babies, why are THEY made of meat?

But gregish asks the real question on every Digger's mind

why is this on the frontpage?

Poop Freeze

These comments come from the Digg front page video about Poop Freeze, a $9.99 spray that freezes dog shit into a crapsicle. The brilliant new technology, which rpi22 points out is a re-branded bottle of compressed air, is eerily reminiscent of a Jack Black box office crapfest. As if the commercial wasn't funny enough, the comments produced some pure comedic genius.



EIderofzion says

This would be perfect to put under someone's car seat knowing halfway through the ride home it will thaw.

Coheedcollapse thinks he's got a better idea

I actually remember a disgusting prank on some site back in the early days of AOL in which some guy said it's awesome to roll poop up in aluminum foil and put it in the freezer. After it's frozen, he cut it into circular "coins" and slipped it into people's pockets at parties. By the time they thawed, he'd be way out of there and everyone would smell like poop.

Weird people.

Though arcooke has warranted concerns

That's an awesome idea.. but I don't think I'd want shit in my freezer.

debuggercil has found the winning formula for the next Internet video phenomenon

2girls1conpressedAirCan