Area 51 insiders speak out

Aliens and sci-fi mysteries never get old, it seems. These interviews with former Area 51 employees garned a great deal of interest last week. It didn't contain any of the sort of fanatical alien chitchat. But it did talk about secret government goodies, like spyplanes.

captainXscalora says

I was hoping for aliens, but was disappointed.

udayd's brutal honesty is much appreciated

honestly, i just dugg this so i could read it tomorrow

i'm drunk and don't really give a fuck right now.

if there are no aliens or pussy in this article i'm going to bury it.

Volatile36 replies

Words to live by.

GM releasing trucks with in-dash computers

New GM trucks will have mobile offices — basically computers build into the dashboard. In addition to Office apps, the computers will run a version of Opera. It's basically the default all-purpose browser nowadays, so why not?

J. Peterson says

“use the in-dash browser to access sales information, contact databases…”

…Or watch YouTube while they plow into your rear bumper at a stoplight.

Christopher Ross says

OK, I’m a pretty simple guy and I grew up on a farm, driving farm trucks and I can tell you that never, in all the time I sat in the cab of a truck did I think to myself “man, I’d buy another truck … if only it had a web browser in it”.

Kanye West responds to South Park

There's a new episode of South Park tonight. But if you haven't seen it already, watch last week's. Right now. It rips on Kanye West in addition to others including the much deserved Carlos Mencia.

Kanye's blog repsonse, where he asserts in all capital letters that it hurt his feelings and that he's working on deflating his enormous, Macy's Day Parade balloon-sized ego. Also, he says in a later blog post that some waiter at the Cheesecake Factory served him fishsticks. Good one, dude!

ezmac says

"I GOT A LONG ROAD AHEAD OF ME TO MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE I'M NOT ACTUALLY A HUGE DOUCHE BUT I'M UP FOR THE CHALLENGE."

its much much longer than you think

icehazard says

As i watched this episode... i was thinking... what is Kanye gonna write in his blog this time

dixta replies

Can tell you what he's NOT gonna write in his blog..... the 26 lowercase characters between a and z.

If there were such things as capital numbers, he'd use those too.

Leminnes replies

ONE TWO THREE FOUR

nudedos says

THANKS KANYE FOR THE BLOG POST. AS A FELLOW TYPER WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHERE HIS CAPS LOCK KEY IS, I FIND IT REFRESHING TO SEE ANOTHER.

Beatoff says

CAPS LOCK IS FOR THE WEAK, I HOLD DOWN SHIFT

Disgusting Dominos People

The Internet is always teaching us lesson. Take the YouTube video, Digusting Dominos People, for example. It taught me the valuable lesson that if you work for a major restaurant chain and decide to contaminate the food you serve while you're on the job, do not film it and upload that video to YouTube.

It's so obvious now!

paperboy6605 says

Wow. Domino's is going to be pissed.

TwoTones says

Domino's has sanwiches? yum...

lozenp says

I work at Domino's and I can tell you we've taken action to fire these employees already. We're also looking at pursuing legal action. These people DO NOT represent the other 125,000 people working in our stores around the world. We were appalled by this.

oddjob replies

This is a message brought to you by LOZENP, KING OF DOMINOS

Testicle Festival

Sometimes you've got to just give props to a brilliantly worded description. This one comes straight from my Digger, Burrento:

"The fundraising idea may seem a little nuts, but Oakdale's annual Testicle Festival is always a big hit. On Monday, volunteers with the town's Rotary Club plan to fry up 400 pounds of the private parts of bulls and serve them to diners who pay $50 apiece for the sit-down meal."

If you haven't figured it out by now, I selectively choose which stories get photos to accompany them. This one, I'm sorry to say, will remain text-only. Perverts.

fearofcups says

Well this is just nuts.

ballsjohnson (Yes, that's really his user name) says

There's so many puns here...its ridiculous.

daqq says

$50 to put balls in my mouth?

Go to the right place and you can get paid for that.

TV show map of the U.S.

Whoever Danmeth.com is has put together a pretty cool map of U.S.-based TV shows, pin-pointing where each is based.

Actually labeled by its creator as a "sitcom map of the USA," I'm going to go out on a limb and say that "Dallas," "Baywatch" and "Matlock" were not situation comedies, nay comedies in any sense of the word (not intentionally, anyway). I mean, Dharma & Greg wasn't funny, but I'm not going to argue that one be off the list. (Though, I would have argued it being off the air.)

JoeF8577 says

Time, and having too much of it, is not always a bad thing.

bigfatphony19 says

The one that surprised me most was Dallas. Also, Hawaii 5-0

Zaggy111 says

I fucking hate Reba!

worseforwine replies

Pretty sure that's what they were originally going to call the show. From the producers of Everybody Loves Raymond: I Fucking Hate Reba!

hatepaste asks

Where are The Simpsons?

UnFriendlyFire replies

In Springfield

Dead girl banned from prom for poor attendance

The parents of Megan Gillan, a British high school student who was found dead in her bedroom, received a letter alerting them that Gillan was being denied access to the school prom due to poor attendance.

Nayson says

Unintentionally funny, but gallows humour at its finest:

"Megan doesn't go to that school anymore. She's been dead for two months now so it's not surprising her attendance is low."

JohnILM says

You want to get the school back? Have her show up to the prom.

inactive says

Will she go?!

rrbest replies

Zombie Prom.

TremorX says

I'm getting sick of this anti-Zombie media bias

Cheerleaders of the Final Four

I just needed one more win from you, Michigan State. But you Spartan assholes teetered by 21 going into the second half. Twenty-one? The biggest half-time gap in NCAA basketball championship history. Come on, guys.

OK, I'll stop whining. The tournament is over, and here are some hot girls to look at.

DuggDeaper says

I think we can agree that going by just pictures, the Spartans are a bunch of sexy sluts.

parafish13 says

I am a proud Spartan. Life rocks.

IglooBurner says

Never thought "Huskie" girls would be so hot.

Raccoon bites off man's penis after attempted rape

I'm going to start off with a bit of honesty. I didn't read the story. I got the gist of it, but even this is too messed up for me to glance over — especially while at work.

To summarize (which could be completely incorrect because, again, I didn't read this), a man tried to have sexy-time with a raccoon and had his dongle removed forcibly. Oh, and it happened in Russia — not that you didn't know that already.

trib4lmaniac says

"When I saw the raccoon I thought I’d have some fun."

It's happened to us all.

shutaro says

OM NOM NOM NOM!

4321234 says

Couldn't resist that sweet, sweet coontang.

awesometastic1 says

In Soviet Russia, the raccoons rape you

dtfinch says

It was a mistake to start with oral foreplay.

AIDS: The gay plague

Probably not the most politically correct entry to the science fair, but at least this fine lassie won a medal for it. Oh, and apparently, "man-on-horse" is A-OK in this kid's (and school's book).

Of course, I don't want to completely kill your faith in the American educational system. This is, as you might have guessed, Photoshopped. The girl has posted a picture of her actual project on her blog.

Nick is nearly speechless

Oh dear…

Chiscringle says

I’d like to see her materials list.
2 men
2 women
1 horse
1 pocket fox

Our job here is done. Michael says

I’m afraid of Americans.

Playboy posts unedited back issues online for free

I've often heard people suggest that newspapers could create a very clever new revenue model by opening up their historical archives. As we know, the adult entertainment industry is always ahead of trends. So, it should come as no surprise that the original dirty magazine, Playboy, is opening up its archives online.

Bashnu says

Damn, now my screens are stuck together.

R0am3r says

And they have great articles too...

kevman459 says

Finally! You can find the pics for free all over the internet, but those articles are hard to come by!

GrooTheWanderer says

It's okay, no child has ever figured out a way around the ingenious "I am at least 18" button.

Acetate says

It's like masturbating in a time machine!

rebirf says

I could barely stop fapping to write this comment.

Trent Reznor takes a shit

Nine Inch Nails front man Trent Reznor is treading new water with his latest endeavor. He has, if reports are to be believed, taken a shit. Such a dramatic venture is sure to fascinate and please fans around the world.

Chowderhawk says

Holy shit! He actually took a shit? Way to stick it to the man!

RafiParrr asks

Did he Twitter his shit

cochonnerie sings

Head like a hole, black as your..

eugenesucks says

OMG, he's so talented. How does he do it?

ChromaVita says

He the proceeded to put it on a CD and release it to the masses.