Ham dick

That's one meaty chode.

Ordonez says

It’s circumcised… so it’s kosher?

lolerblades says

lol I can’t wait to get that into my mouth.

fuzz on the concept says

Chokes like chicken.

I make it to the fence in 2.8 seconds. Can you?

This is one ballsy German Shepherd. Would I take the risk? Probably not. Unless there's something totally awesome on the other side of the fence. Like a dog.

So, can you make it to the fence in 2.8 seconds?

ophello says

Maybe, but if the dog beats me to the fence, that's really okay.

barnis says

I have a gun. Do you?

speedk0re says

Holy Shit a talking dog!

Wonder Boner

Sick of de-boning fish? Why not try the Wonder Boner! The rod is the secret. Trust me.

boaks says

lol “My wife would like that…”

Dalkorian replies

Yeah, that’s still tickling my funny boner.

Mookie says

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a boner and he’s yours for a lifetime.

Happy deer is happy

He certainly is one happy deer. Until he finds out his mother was executed by a hunter.

singleton asks

How can people actually shoot these little guys?

sockpuppets replies

With a gun.

Murdats replies

they shoot the sad ones.

machoraz replies

Don't kid yourself, he'd kill you and everyone you care about if he could.

tomejuan says

I liked the part when the deer was happy.

Polar bear chases man around car

The Daily Mail, apparently the rag of the U.K., has an entertaining photo report about an Alaskan man, who narrowly escaped a polar bear attack by running around his truck. One might say he barely makes it out alive. Heh.

spaceshipsix says

I'm sure he was very thankful for the photographer's heroic help documenting his near death experience.

For my sake I'm glad he took the pictures.

iSeven says

needs more Benny Hill theme song

doublefelix says

That's the last time he will wear Seal's new fragrance.

UMDWei says

"Hey! I just want you to try this new Coke."

Anyone know a website for cool Bebo profile names?

Yahoo Answers (I refuse to put that pretentious exclamation point) is the Alabama of the Internet — packed with stupidity and incest. While you'll find some of the most legitimately ridiculous comments on the Internet there, it's almost addicting. I mean, how can an entire website community be so incredibly stupid?

One user questions, "Anyone know a website for cool Bebo profile names?" (Bebo, for those who don't know, is a Web-based instant messenger.) The No. 1 response is both humbling and entertaining.

ThatGeek asks

who lurks through yahoo answers to find these things?

Brak710101 says

"... when men were men, women were men, and children were FBI agents..."

That's an epic quote.

HilmFromReddit says

Anyone else have to google to figure WTF's a bebo?

Which is worse: ignorance or apathy

I don't know, and I don't care. Zing!

Walcherina says

I see what he did there.

ardembiniwoot says

he put a ripped effect at the sides, even though it's not that good, i still see effort...

cynicalalbrit94 replies

Don't forget the shadow.

tidu replies

it's like he tore the screen right off!

WUThad says

This is ridiculous, you can't tear pages out of the internet.

College diversity

Racial diversity, it seems, is only a Photoshop away.

BorsKaegel says

It's like the ethnically-diverse 'Where's Waldo'.

bodhibay says

I found him!

dharasick says

It looks like he was photoshopped in...

whitezombie420 replies

pretty sure thats the point

honeymustardn replies

I imagine you wearing a monocle.

snaglepuss says

When you see it...

PixelMagic replies

...you'll cling tighter to your purse.

mysticalalone replies

Brad do you have any issues with " burn in " on your plasma?
nope
kool
How well does it handle blacks
I have it bolted to the wall, so they can't really take it without some serious work

SifuMoKung replies

I love when racist jokes make me laugh against my will.

McDonald's pays 1,000 people to stand in line

Going to Japan, in some respects, is like going back in time. Sure, they surpass the United States in a number of health and technological aspects. (Sony and Nintendo gadgets are a couple light years ahead of ours.) But at least we have the Quarter Pounder, jerks!

McDonald's, perhaps the most legendary U.S. export, admitted to paying 1,000 Japanese to stand outside the fast food restaurant in Osaka for the debut of the Quarter Pounder in Japan. Basically half the people in line were paid to stand around and collect free food. The other half pretty much got screwed royally (with cheese).

One of the best Micky-Dees burgers I've ever had was at the Kyoto, Japan branch. I think it was called the Pepper Cheese Double Beef, but who knows? (Not Google.) All I remember was it being tiny and not really living up to the "double patty" standard. Maybe that explains why the Quarter Pounder is such a big deal over there. They must be Whopper Virgins.

3xx6 says

McPitiful.

avataros says

Were they lovin' it?

anagoge says

If you were offered money to stand in line for food, you'd do it too. I mean come on, free money and then you get a burger at the end of the line? I like that sort of queue.

megaton replies

That's a queue I can get behind!

Kathy Griffin New Year's comments catch Anderson Cooper off guard

CNN learned perhaps its most important lesson of the year -- don't let Kathy Griffin on TV. And if you must, please, please don't give her a live, open mic. The C-list comedian and maddeningly obnoxious Griffin responded to a heckler live during CNN's 2008 New Year Eve broadcast, saying she doesn't go to his job and "knock the dicks out of his mouth."

And did you know she dated Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak? What a pair.

Pooty says

Holy shit, Kathy Griffin said something funny

outoforder says

Someone needs to knock a dick into her mouth. Chick is loud, and obnoxious.

HilmFromReddit says

I wish she came to my job and knocked the dicks out of my mouth, i am so tired of having dicks in my mouth, please come take them out of my mouth.

Z2k9: Zune fail

Not a good way to ring in the new year. On December 31, Microsoft 30G Zune media players around the world began failing. Simultaneously. All of them.

Some called it Z2k9. That's because Zune owners are almost entirely huge nerds (see: photo, right). But when this is all forgotten a couple days from now, there will always be that single day in history when Microsoft is exposed for designing really crappy software... Wait.

joe122370 says

All Zunes sold? both of them?

Crath says

I guess they are frozune now.

thenextman says

Today is the 366th day of the year... Did someone at MS forget about leap years?

djnermal says

My zune failed and my relationship failed all in the same day. Bring in the new year.

kiiwii replies

Maybe your relationship just needs a firmware update?

Goldest comments of 2008

It's been six months since I began cut and pasting offensive statements from Web trolls onto this blog. As Comment Gold rings in its first new year, let's take a look back at the blog's most read posts since launch.

Plus, I'm still pretty hung over, and this is easier than scouring the Internet for comments.

1. Oh Well - Death to memes.
2. Church sign champion: Our Lady of Martyrs - Apparently there are a ton of people Googling these churches. Who knew?
3. Olympic gymnasts share a kiss - Leveraging a combination of the summer's hot topic (the Olympics) and evergreen Internet content (sex) was a success. Barring this post, I don't normally go for cheap hits. Well, this and...
4. Alicia Sacramone is hot - I guess I'll take some easy traffic every once and a while. Look! It was a good formula, OK?
5. $17. Now that's gangsta - This kid is an Internet superstar.
6. Football announcer: 'That's kinda gay' - A hilarious college sports moment caught on tape that one commenter called, without hyperbole, the "greatest moment in football ever."
7. Barack Obama: C-C-C-Combo Breaker - Besides the Olympics, there was another hot topic this year: the O-bomb. Congrats to the first black president-elect.
8. Is this your cat? - Stupidity always has a place on this list.